Sometimes being the mom is hard. When you are the mom, you absorb everything. When someone is sick, they want mom. When someone's schedule gets busy, so does yours. When a person in your family is going through personal changes, guess who goes through them too? That's right, Mom.
As the mom, we are given the gift of sharing a part in everything that happens to our family. We are the core. We keep everything going and everyone depends on us. This is a wonderful thing. It is nice to be this person and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
However, yesterday, I felt overwhelmed with life. Sophia was sick over the weekend and needed lots of attention, I made a Halloween costume for Alexander, I have been trying to keep the house cleaner on a regular basis and have been doing lots of baking, we have added a writing workshop/mother discussion day to our homeschool outings, classes start back tonight and we have been on a tight budget this week. Then, on Tuesday night, Izzy chewed both of my knitting needles and slobbered all over my almost finished dish towel. I think that was what topped it off. I haven't been able to knit in so long because my fingers were too stiff and it felt good to be doing it again and then it felt like it was torn from me.
So, I woke up cranky yesterday. The day got better, but then turned worse again by night. Looking back now, I see how easy it would have been to share with my family that I didn't want to do the dishes again or walk the dog again. Someone would have gladly done it to help me. I could have told them that I just wanted to lay in my bedroom by myself without listening to anyone's stories for a while and instead of holding anyone right then, I just needed to have a little space for a while and they would have understood, but instead I hurt some feelings. I feel really bad about that.
I know we all have bad days and luckily my family understands that too. Before going to bed, the kids and I did talk over the hurt feelings and I shared with them how I have felt overwhelmed the last week. It felt good to share this with them and for them to understand and offer up suggestions to help. They really are good kids - the best! Being the mom is the best, even on difficult days.