Saturday, January 10, 2009

Do Men Find Natural Hair Color Sexy?

After coming home last week with a much needed haircut, Steve greeted me with something like, "You can really see where your natural hair color line is." I went into an instant panic, thinking, "Oh no, that must be a bad thing." I asked what he meant and he explained that the line between natural and colored is more obvious now that I am eight months and half way into the process of returning my hair to its natural color. (I actually did notice the difference between natural and colored but hoped everyone else was blind to the distinct line around my head.) But, as always, he wiped away any insecurities when he said he really likes the new colors coming in and how it just looks more natural. (That is my goal!) He reassured me that the color of hair means more to women than it does men and that he finds the cut and the way the grays are coming in very attractive. Could there be a more perfect husband than mine who always makes me feel beautiful in my weak moments? I do have to admit that I like the way it is looking too and only wish it would finish growing out faster.

I haven't searched author Anne Kreamer in a while but if you remember, I posted about her in one of my early posts and absolutely loved her book Going Gray. Here is some interesting information from a Q & A article I hadn't read yet but that confirmed what my loving husband told me.

Q: So men don't care about gray hair on women as much as we think they do?

A: The majority of men don't. If a woman's overall persona is attractive, they could care less. It's a little bit like the proverbial: Does my butt look too big? A lot of men think "We like that!" Much of our insecurities are informed by what we see in the media. We don't see very many sexy, interesting role models out there. There's Helen Mirren -- just look at her smile and sense of comfort in her body and clothes. What's not to love? The sort of images we tend to see are the 'Desperate Housewives' view of what 40 can be like, let alone 50.

Q: So you think men are more forgiving of a woman's aging process?

A: What it really boils down to is confidence, a sense of comfort in your body. Who wants to be with a person screaming a bunch of insecurities and feeling unsure of themselves? Gray hair color is a very vocal symbol of "I acknowledge who I am and I'm happy about it."


  1. I think gray hair is more attractive than false looking colored hair. I am in the process of growing my hair out long. I wore it short for 26 years, but have wanted to let it grow long for a few years now. I was getting it cut about every 3 weeks or so, and have not had a haircut now, except for a trim, since August. I will have to post a picture of the "new" me soon. As soon as I get it where it looks decent.

  2. My husband likes the gray in my hair. (My mom REALLY likes it and has threatened to harm me if I color it again...LOL...funny, because she's 75 and still colors hers.)

    My hair was very short when I quit coloring it, so having it all return to its natural color was a quick process. Now I'm growing it out a bit and there are days in this process when my hair is, let's just say, less than attractive. Oh well, I'll get there sooner or later.

  3. Earl and the kids never seem to mind how "bad" I think I look. I'm just Sherry and mom to them. I wish I could feel as confident about myself as they do about me!

    Did you go shorter on your hair. What I can see fromt he picture it looks cute!

    Love ya,

  4. I think that is all very true, especially the last part about "who wants to be with a person screaming a bunch of insecurities and feeling unsure of themselves?"

    I don't wear make up and my hair is just the way it is supposed to be naturally for me. I always thought it a bit odd to see other women always wanting their hair to be whatever it wasn't (curly, straight, etc). In the past I had mentioned maybe wearing make up and my husband was always very put off by that. I think most men like women to just be who they are, and be confident of themselves. :) At least, that is, if you've nabbed a good guy like I did!

  5. and you look great!

    my daughter has allergies and is very sensitive to chemicals and perfumes, fragrances etc. We just had some family visit, and it was really hard for them to adjust to *not* wearing all that stuff. I really don't think my MIL knew what to do with her hair since she couldn't spray that aerosol hair spray into it.

  6. Heather, I bet that could be a challenge to eliminate all chemicals. They probably felt naked! Over the years we have switched to homemade cleaning products and very natural personal items where now even the scented hand soaps at Whole Foods seem really strong. We have often opted out of any soaps in public,especially when my daughter had eczema on her hands. The other day at the doctor's office, I was surprised that I ended up with a headached just from looking at magazines that are filled with chemical samples.

    What does your family think about your diet restrictions?

  7. It is amazing, isn't it? I get a headache too, when I am around someone who is wearing perfume or some type of fragrance.

    Unfortunately, part of our family doesn't really understand our restrictions. They don't even understand celiac disease... and my MIL asked me several times (after I had already explained about celiac disease) if it is something that I could out grow. I didn't know quite how to take that, since I am almost 25... and not a kid, despite the fact that celiac disease is of course not something you can "out grow"

    They also don't understand my daughter's allergies, and almost think we are.... "too overprotective" and that we "keep her in a bubble" when that is of course not true. We know what she is allergic to, and we do what is necessary to keep her safe :)

    I have found that when you make major lifestyle changes, some people almost get offended because it's not something they want to do.. and they feel like you are threatening their choices, which of course is not true.

  8. I have been asked if I think I am gluten intolerant because I ate "whole wheat" instead of "white" before going gluten free. People have always asked if Sophia will outgrow her eczema. It is gone most of the time now that she has eliminated certain foods, but I believe it was there for a reason and if we continue unhealthy habits it just comes back to us in a new form - we never outgrow it!

    We have been accused of being over protective with our kids and a little weird for letting them wean from the breast and family bed in their own time and now with unschooling. But, I figure we can't parent to make others happy and we know our kids best. We can only follow our hearts when it comes to them. Anything short of that is not enough.

    Overall, we have been very fortunate. My family, although maybe think I am a little weird sometimes, seem to appreciate the choices we are making for our kids and see what wonderful people they are. In fact, many have joined us in our parenting style. We definitely appreciate their support.