Thursday, March 10, 2011

My Dad

I have always had a special relationship with my dad.  When I call him on the phone, I frequently say, "Hi.  It's your favorite daughter."  He says, "Hi Cathy."  Of course he has caller id on his phone so he knows it is me when he answers, but my whole life I have felt like his favorite child just as I imagine my five siblings have felt.  He has a special way of making me feel that I am the most important person. 

When I was a little girl/teenager he would hear me cry and come into my room to talk to me.  He understood my personality well and would often just hold me as I cried.  He saw me through many teenage break-ups by just holding me and letting me cry without feeling he needed to give advice or force me to share. As an adult he has supported my choices for unschooling my children and has often told me how proud he is of my children.  When I went gluten/dairy free, he and his wife Carol made their home my safe spot when visiting Wichita.  I knew I could eat at their house and I would always be safe.  I feel taken care of when with my dad.

As I talked to him on the phone yesterday about the cancer that has spread further into his body, I shared with him my sadness.  I want to be strong, but with him I always feel I can openly share what is inside me and I needed to share that with him.  As I talked, I imagined his arms wrapped around me and I felt safe. 

Like his own mother and father, he doesn't appear to be afraid of death.  He has had many good experiences and had a lifetime of love from family.  When he shares this attitude, I feel calm. 

Sophia, Cathy, Dad, Carol (Dad's amazing wife and my good friend), Steve, and Alexander
January 2010

My dad's cancer is now beyond any cure. What bothers me now is the pain he is experiencing.  They are hoping to start radiation soon to manage the pain.  Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers that the pain can be managed and his days more relaxing.