Friday, August 12, 2011

Lucky?

Yesterday afternoon I went out to start my car and it wouldn't start.  It made a weird noise and the lights  flickered.  Generally Steve would take a look at it if it was something like a battery, but he has been working tons of hours lately and really didn't want to deal with it.  I don't blame him.  He is exhausted.

We had the car picked up around 2:00PM and by 3ish I had a call from the mechanic we have used since moving to the area 12 years ago.  It was the battery.  When I got off the phone, Alexander and I started talking about how lucky we were that the battery died at home instead of today when we had originally planned to go to Indiana.  As soon as Steve got home he also mentioned how lucky we were that it died at home rather than when we were out and about.

This got me thinking about luck. Whenever negative events have occurred in our life all four of us have always gone to thoughts like,  "Wow, we were really lucky because __________ could have happened instead."  We don't intend to say it, but all four of us always look at situations in our life that could have been a misfortune as being lucky.  Are we really lucky?  I think it is a matter of where we put our energy. 

When I think about all the places the car could have broke down, I feel so relieved and lucky that it was at home on an afternoon that we didn't have anything else planned and we could just relax.  This is much easier than thinking, "Geez, why did our car have to break down right now when I am on vacation from work and won't receive another paycheck for two months?"

When rheumatoid arthritis came into our life, we were the same way.  "Wow, we are really lucky it isn't cancer or something worse."  "Wow, we are lucky this happened after our kids were born and had finished nursing."  "Wow, we are really lucky this happened when we were financially capable of me working part-time rather than full-time."  "Wow, we are lucky that the med/diet combo is working for me right now."  I like this about us.  I observe so many people in life focusing on how situations in their life make them unlucky and how unfortunate they are.  Are they less lucky than me?  I don't think so.  I think it is just how you look at life as a whole.  I tend to want to think a situtation could have been much worse than it really is while others like to focus on how awful their current situation is.

I feel extremely lucky right now.  Some days I look at all that I am accomplishing physically and mentally now that my rheumatoid arthritis is under control and my eyes fill with tears of gratitude.  Some days feeling this good feels completely normal and other days I feel like I am playing a part in Freaky Friday and my body has been placed inside a strong capable person's body for a limited time.  I feel like I have to enjoy each and every minute.  Am I lucky right now?  You bet I am.  I have been given an amazing gift of health in which I can do everything I want to do and I realize this is a gift.  Will this luck last forever?  Possibly not.  Next week, next month, next year, or in ten years my RA body may be ready to switch places again and this could all be over.  Somehow, I think if that is the case that I will still think I am lucky.  I will think I am lucky for having the time I have right now to do the things I want to do.  Whoever or whatever created this positive outlook in my head and the heads of my family definitely did something good for me.  I am indeed a lucky girl!