Thursday, April 12, 2012

Sneaking in Happiness

I bought these flowers for myself on Tuesday.  I was feeling down and needed a visual reminder that life is beautiful.  Tuesday marked the one year anniversary of my dad dying and it hit me harder than I imagined it would.  In addition, my mom had knee replacement surgery and my husband hasn't been feeling well which worries me.  Plus, I have over-scheduled myself by A LOT.  I know this schedule will eventually be reduced, but for now I don't feel like myself.  I feel like I am living in a cloud that is waiting to be free to live a more simple life once again.

While the flowers were intended to be a reminder of the simple beauty in life, they have actually proved to be a reminder of so much more.  As I have watched the petals slowly open up these last few days, they have been a reminder to slow down and enjoy the present moment.  I have found that by simply walking past this vase of flowers, I am reminded to take a deep breath and let it out.  The flowers have somehow reminded me to smile and focus on what is really important to me in my life - my family.

On Tuesday evening when I returned home late from a day of teaching and tutoring, I danced in the kitchen with Sophia.  Last night I laid in bed talking to her until my eyes could no longer stay open.  Spending time with her reminds me to laugh and talking with her reminds me of lessons I sometimes forget.  My almost 14 year old daughter is very wise in her understanding of relationships and reminded me last night that we always need to look beyond what we initially see in a person because a lot more is going on in the background.  Yesterday afternoon I had a great conversation with Alexander which took my mind to another place besides commitments.  Each night when I get home from work he asks me how work went that evening.  I love that he cares and is interested.  I also love sharing little tidbits of my life away from home with him.  And my sweet husband, who I don't see near enough of, spent some time at work the other day instant messaging with me when he knew I was sad.  He was able to sum up how I am feeling exactly.  I love that he knows me so well and I am glad that I put my phone away before bed and laid in his arms several nights ago rather than once again checking my emails.

My life right now is chaotic and overall I feel worn down and stressed which is not a feeling that wears well on me.  Sneaking in a little happiness though, makes a huge difference.  It lets me focus on what is still most important to me and gives me the energy to complete the responsibilities I have committed to.

8 comments:

  1. You constantly amaze me in your ability to find those rays of sunshine in an otherwise stormy vista. It doesn't seem possible that it's been a year since your dad passed. I know you still feel the pain. Sending good wishes for your Mom's recovery and hope your husband starts feeling better.

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  2. abcsofra.blogspot.comApril 12, 2012 at 8:52 AM

    Bringing nature inside has always "grounded" me. Like you, it reminds me that all new and even well established roots, need to be fertilized, watered and cared for in order to bloom. We are like those seeds or well established roots. I am forever reminding my hubby that our well established shrubs and trees and flowers need feeding on a regular basis. Just as we do. We need to relish and laze in the sun to absorb the joy of it all, feed ourselves with nutrients of joy, sharing and caring and love and close out eyes when the sun goes down to rest for another day. Yup, nature just about sums up human life to me :-) Bring it on in!

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  3. Like you I find sometimes buying a bunch of flowers may bust my budget but the blessing they give me in return is so worth the cost!

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  4. You captured just how I've been feeling lately, too - run down and frazzled. What a lovely idea to buy yourself flowers. It sounds like you have a lot on the go, but I'm glad you're finding bits of time here and there to do things that make you happy.

    Maybe tonight while I'm too busy essay-writing to cook, I will order something delicious for dinner and actually stop to enjoy it. :)

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  5. Dear Cathy,

    You touched my heart today.

    Fathers hold a special place in daughter's hearts, and it takes years to finish mourning, if we ever do.

    My father has been gone now longer than he was in my life, yet I still am sometimes amazed at how much I miss him, how alive he is in my memory.

    Sending you hugs for a happy week.

    Susan

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  6. I am sorry that life is difficult right now but it seems like you have a good handle of how to care for yourself and that is priceless. Your husband sounds like a gem and a true partner in every sense of the word. Hang in there! :-)

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  7. Thank you for sharing your little joys with us! Slowing down to appreciate the smaller moments can open our eyes to what we miss in this hectic world.

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  8. Thank you for nice sharing among us.

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