A Story About Patience, Friendship, and a Mug

This is the story of a woman (me) who has a strange obsession with having the exact right tea mug, learning to patient, and a friend who reunites this woman with her mug.  

I am a huge hot tea drinker and have a few demands for the perfect tea mug.  First, it has to feel right in my hands. Since I am right handed and the fingers on my right hand don't bend completely, I need a handle that allows plenty of finger room yet isn't too thick or too thin.  Next, the mug needs to reflect my personality and call out to me that it is right for me.  I like to have a connection with my mug.  Lastly, it needs to be distinct enough that everyone knows it is mine and won't use it.  Several years ago, I found the perfect mug at Starbucks.  I loved the colors and the feel of it in my hand.  The connection was immediate.  When RA Guy, Lene Andersen, and I began working on photos for the first Our Hands Can! Photo Book produced by Show Us Your Hands!, I submitted a photo of my hands lifting my mug.

For quite a while, my mug and I enjoyed each day together. Then one day,  I made a big mistake. I decided to take my mug with me in the car.  I had done this many times before, but this time it was different because I  was also holding onto the leash of a very excited border collie.  The mug fell out of my hand, onto the porch, and broke into many pieces.  My heart was so sad. I felt like I had lost a friend. 

Now, you may think, "It was just a mug.  What's the big deal?"  You are right.  It was just a mug, but it was MY mug.  It had shared many cups of tea with me along with many conversations, tears, and happy moments. I felt a connection to it.  For over a year I have been checking out mugs in coffee houses and stores.  My daughter keeps rolling her eyes and saying, "Mom, just buy it.  It is cute."  I hold the mug in my hand, think about how it will feel on a daily basis, and end up not buying it.  The mug never seems to call out to me that it is the right one for me. Occasionally  I think, "Maybe I can make this the right one."  But as we know with love, we can't force someone or something to be something it isn't.  So, I have been patient.  I have reminded myself over and over that the right mug will come along.  Just be patient.  

Last week I received a message from my good friend Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy.  He was at a baseball game and spotted a mug that reminded him of mine.  When I saw the photo, I burst out laughing because the mug he saw in the hands of the gal sitting next to him at a ball game was the EXACT replica as the one I had broken.   I messaged him back to snatch the mug when the lady turned her head.  Luckily, he is more honest than me and simply told the gal my tea mug story and showed her a photo of it on the site.  She washed out the mug she had bought at a second hand store and gave it to him to give to me.

Today, my mug arrived!!!!!  It is nice to have my long lost connection back in my own hands. And now, it is even better because this new one comes with a story of its own.  I am glad that I was patient and waited rather than jumping on the first good looking mug.  Sometimes the best things come with patience and of course having a good friend keeping you in mind at all times doesn't hurt either.  Thanks Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy.  You are the best.     

Diet for Rheumatoid Arthritis More Than Just a Cure

There is a lot of discussion on blogs, websites, and Facebook pages about the connection between rheumatoid arthritis and diet.  Many people try a gluten free diet for a month or two and then deem it useless and move on.  Some people remove processed foods for a while and then decide it takes too much work. Others say diet is a waste of time.  Making dietary changes is hard, I agree. But whether or not diet "cures" rheumatoid arthritis, I believe it is one of the best gifts you can give yourself when dealing with RA.

My own personal journey with rheumatoid arthritis and diet has not led to a cure of the disease as I originally hoped for.  Instead it has allowed me to focus on how my individual body reacts to foods.  It has improved my skin, my digestion, weird twitches in my nose and fingers, and more. This did not happen by eliminating a food for a short time - I was lucky to work with a naturopath who insisted I eliminate foods until I saw some obvious changes.  After eliminating wheat, dairy, nightshades, citrus, sugar, and peanuts and focusing on making all of my own food for about nine months, my inflammation rates went down and I was able to stop taking prednisone that I had been on for a while.

Initially I focused only on diet as a way of lowering my inflammation rates, but once I started eating well, I found I had a new respect for my overall self.  I started digging deeper into who I am.  What were my life goals?  My relationship goals?  My spiritual goals?  What was preventing me from accomplishing what I wanted in each of these areas?  I started meditating and respecting my need for lots of down time.  I started working out in a new way using more weights than cardio workouts.  I found that I like having a strong body.  I worked on relationships.  I cried a lot as I worked at finding a better, more content me.  With each of these changes, I found that my body felt better.  Diet gave me control over my life at a time that it seemed everything was out of my control.  It was the first step towards creating a better me.

Many times when living with a disease such as rheumatoid arthritis we ask, "Why me?"  We get angry at people for not understanding how we feel or saying the wrong thing to us.  But what if we took our current situation, rheumatoid arthritis, and focused on it as being a lesson in life that has been given to us not only to make us a healthier person but also to make us a more content person?  While I may not be able to stop a flare, I do know from paying attention to my own body that by reducing stressful situations, I can prevent many of them.  I know that consuming too much sugar is going to give me stiff hands the following morning.  I can become aware of the day to day signs my body gives me that I am not treating it well.

Diet is a starting point to making our overall selves healthier.While I don't think rheumatoid arthritis is a punishment for anything we have or haven't done in our lives, I do believe it is gift that has many lessons to teach us.  I also believe that diet can be the first step towards giving ourselves the respect and attention it deserves.  Once we figure out that eating crap day after day is not what our body is asking us for, we can move on to figuring out more of what our body does want from us.

Right now my weight is up about 15-20 pounds.  Maybe that doesn't seem a lot, but on a 5'0 frame, it makes a huge difference and I don't feel happy where I am at right now aesthetically, but more importantly because I know that the extra weight does not create a healthy me.  Rather than hurrying to reduce calories and lose weight, I am focusing on why I have an extra 15-20 pounds of weight on my body right now. What is the lesson here?  I trust in the wisdom of my body and my body is holding onto this weight for a reason.  It is my job to get to the root of it.  I still have much to learn about myself and this extra weight I am carrying around is just another reminder to me that I have work to do. As I do good things for myself like skip the glass of wine that sounds so good or pack a nutritious lunch for a busy day, I know that I am not only controlling my weight but also treated myself with respect. I feel lucky that my body gives me signs something is out of whack and I am glad that I listen.  Without diet, I don't think I would be to this point. So, while it may not cure the disease, diet definitely has an important place in our rheumatoid arthritis treatment plan.  It makes life easier and transitions us to learning more about ourselves which in turn makes us happier and healthier.

Exercises For All Levels of RA

I am so proud to be a part of this video. I found myself saying over and over, "Remember when I couldn't ___________." This video was a great way for me to reflect on how far I have come phyically and emotionally with rheumatoid arthritis. I am really proud of myself .

The Truth of a Fortune Cookie

"You have the ability to touch the lives of many people." 

Fortune  Cookie

Although I don't eat fortune cookies due to the gluten, I always open one when we order Chinese from PF Chang's gluten free menu.  When I read one that connects with me, I keep it on my desk for several weeks reading it over and over again.  I often have ideas of how the fortune applies to me, but like to let it sit and see what transpires. 

The connection I felt to this fortune was revealed to me as my Saturday class came to a close over the weekend.  Throughout the morning, students thanked me for being so patient with them. They told me they like my teaching style. Since most of us have been together all year, they wanted to know if I would be teaching  the same class in the fall.  (I hope so!)  All of this positive feedback made me know in my heart that I have indeed touched many lives.  My fortune had come true.  

After meeting one on one with the last student, I walked next door where I knew the students had brought food to share and were patiently waiting on me to eat.  What I didn't know was that I would be met with a round of applause as I walked through the door.  A student said, "This is for you Teacher Cathy."   There was tons of food along with a cake, a card signed by everyone with lovely notes, and a beautiful potted plant for me to take home.  Wow!  I felt so special.   

I think what my students don't realize is that I get as much out of the classes as they do.  This class in particular has been very special to me.  It was a big class that met for four hours every Saturday and rather than having them for eight weeks-16 weeks as I normally do, I had them all year long so we really got to know each other.  The personalities in this group were BIG and they  were excited about learning not only what was in the curriculum, but often brought things from the outside world to ask about.  One gal is part of a non-profit start up to help educate children, especially girls, in Sudan.  She often brought questions and need for edits to class.  Another student has many English speaking friends and they often point out mistakes in his text messages.  He was sure "I am boring," was correct and his friends were wrong when they said, "You are bored."  When he explained his theory, I knew he was thinking the right way, but unfortunately wasn't correct on this one.  I liked that he challenged his friends though. One student uses English at work but often struggles with vocabulary.  It brought a lot of satisfaction when she would say, "I hear that word a lot, but I never knew what it meant."  Many days she would bring additional words for us to talk about.   This class kept me on my toes from the start to finish.  After our four hours together, my brain was exhausted in a way I have never experienced with other classes.  This group of students was made up of nine different nationalities.  Watching students from various countries get off track from their group assignment to go to the map and show where they lived or explain their culture was the kind of  distraction a teacher can't help but be okay with.  Honestly, I am so lucky to have the job I have.  I love going to work knowing that I am appreciated and that I am touching the lives of many people. I am glad my fortune spoke the truth.      

How Much News Can We Absorb?

I remember a day that I felt it was my civic responsibility to watch the daily news. I watched the Today Show as I dressed for work and when I was home with my babies.  To make sure I was up to date on everything, I made sure I also watched the nightly news.  However, as I sat watching the Twin Towers fall over and over again and then listened to horror story after horror story of the lives affected by the Katrina disaster,  I decided this little heart of mine could only take in so much bad news.  This was the point that I stopped watching and listening to the news. 

What I have discovered during my years of avoiding the news is that you cannot hide from it.  I only have to log on to Facebook to know what horrific things have happened in the world. If I choose to avoid Facebook, which I often do after I have learned the basic details of the current news story, I am confronted with the same stories over and over again when I go to work, the store, or anywhere outside of my home.  I am quite envious of the few people in the world who honestly can avoid the news.  For me, it hasn't been possible.  Knowing this, I have decided the one thing I can do is make sure I don't watch or read the same story lines over and over again.   

While I believe we need to care for others and try to make this world a better place, I don't believe that happens by rehashing the same story over and over again.  I am a sensitive person by nature, but I honestly don't understand how people handle the news of so much bad going on day after day.  For me, it gives me nightmares, which is one of the reasons I stopped watching the news. It also makes me lose hope in the world which is something I refuse to do.

Wednesday night and Thursday morning, my local town experienced a lot of rain which created flooding issues.  My family and I were prevented from going to school and work yesterday due to our neighborhood roads being blocked off.  Three miles from our home, in Lisle, IL, a state of emergency has been called.  Cars are under water as well as homes destroyed.  Am I watching some of the news coverage?  You bet.  This is my community.  This is when and where I 100% need to know what is happening.  This is the time for me to open up my heart and feel for others, to send healing thoughts, and to be a good citizen.   I  know that many bad things are happening in the world right now, but I can't absorb all of the bad.  I can only concentrate on that right under my nose.  For those of you that have a bigger heart than me and can absorb all that is happening in the world - hooray for you!  I have learned my limits.  I can only handle so much bad news and need to hear plenty of good.       

Connecting with Myself

2013 has been all about bringing calm to my life.  Therefore, I have been focusing on me and the things I love to do.  Here is my spring break:  

A nature walk with my teenage son, his friend, and my border collie.  Breathing in the trees, birds, and fresh air helped clear my mind and renew me. 

On Easter Sunday, my family and I went for a ten mile bike ride.  Spending time outdoors with my family always makes me happy, even when I try to resist it.  

  

I require a lot of alone time and I took it over spring break.  While the kids were busy with their own activities, I read and watched shows that I enjoy.

I participated in Deepak Chopra's 21 Day Meditation Challenge  on creating Perfect Health with my sister Stacey.  Daily, we shared our goals with each other.  Knowing I have her there to support me and encourage me makes life wonderful.

Being gentle with ourselves and doing nice things that our bodies require is often overlooked in our society. Instead,  we are often made to believe that we are lazy if we aren't constantly on the go doing something..... anything, except being good to ourselves. 

My rheumatoid arthritis has been under control for a while now, but last Wednesday through Saturday I experienced a pretty rough flare in my hip.  What I realized is that I didn't freak out.  I remained calm.  In the past, when I've gone a while without a flare and then had one, I felt emotionally drained, worried that my body was turning on me.  This time, I didn't experience that at all.  In fact, I realized that my nourishing time was a sure sign to me that taking time for myself was a good choice.  This break gave me lots of time to reflect on some things that have been bothering me. I believe this flare might have been my body's way of ridding itself of all the negative feelings I have felt.  Now that they are out of my system, I can start this week back to work and a regular mom schedule feeling good about my self and my choices.  

I hope you are caring for yourself too.  Happy Monday!

Reducing Infobesity

While my rheumatoid arthritis seems to be under control now, I am suffering from a new disease.  It's called infobesity.  I am constantly been feeding my mind with new information that will help my one on one tutoring students, my classroom students, my family's crazy schedule, and life in general.  On top of that, I have discovered tons of awesome blogs and websites that I enjoy visiting.  I also have a podcast addiction.  I listen to them whenever I am alone in the car, which is often, and on walks with Izzy.   In addition, I'm constantly checking and reading emails and Facebook.  Luckily I don't use my Twitter account!  MY BRAIN HURTS.  I have consumed way too much information and it is time for a diet.

I have been reading Mark Sisson's new book The Primal Connection, which I highly recommend to everyone whether you follow a primal diet or not.  In this book, Sisson gives practical ways of getting back to our  primal connections while living in a modern world.  He says,

You are hardwired to be keenly aware of your surroundings.  

Modern Disconnect:  overwhelmed with distractions

Primal Connection:  power down, unplug, and be present in the moment.

During the month of February I started making some changes to rid myself of some of the distractions that were making my brain fuzzy and left me feeling disconnected.  These changes are small, but very powerful.

Limit time online 

While I love posting, emailing, and checking in on Facebook to see what is going on with friends, it has consumed too much of my time.  Once I started limiting my time online, I realized how much extra time I have in my busy schedule. Plus, it is nice to look my kids in the eyes when they are talking to me rather than at a computer screen.  

Move!  

Now that I am away from the computer more, I find myself moving more.  At first I had to make a conscious decision that I was going to move more during the day, but once I did I found I am more efficient at getting chores done around the house and my mind feels less bogged down. 

Meditate

In the past I relied on meditation when I felt really stressed out.  As of February, I have incorporated it into my everyday routine, even if that means only five minutes a day.  This may sound hippy dippy, but this small change has made all the difference in how I experience my days.

Quiet time 

Before I had a smart phone that allowed me to check emails wherever and whenever I wanted and before I discovered pod-casts, I would get into my car after a class and drive home in silence.  This quiet time allowed my brain to process all that happened in class before adding on new information.  I need that time. I also need that time on walks to hear birds sing, the wind blow, and other sounds of nature that soothe my brain.  The quiet time also allows me to connect in a better way with my border collie Izzy.   

Read Books 

To add to my quiet time during the day, I am reading more.  This kind of reading does not involve the computer, but real books.  I don't want to sound old fashioned, but reading a book or newspaper does something different to your brain than reading online.  I think it is the fact that you are more focused.  You know with a book you can't get distracted and go searching for ten other things related to the topic you are reading about.  Plus, laying on the couch with a good book allows you to easily doze off for a little bit.  In addition, I am taking a book with me to work.  I have a thirty minute break between classes and find that reading, rather than searching the web on my iphone, really relaxes me for my next class.

Allow luxuries throughout day

Rather than spending my small amount of free time on the internet, I am now giving myself small luxuries throughout the day.  In the past I might run home during my hour and a half between schools to make dinner and check emails and Facebook.  Now, I put food in the slow cooker in the morning or plan a quick easy meal and spend my time at home doing things like talking with my family or relaxing in the bathtub with Epsom salt.    

Does all of this mean an end to my time on email, Facebook, pod-casts  and my blog?  No way!  I love all of these and feel they bring good things to my life. I have just learned that for me, there is a limit and I have been abusing it.  It occurred  to me the other day that life is like meditation.  You might have a thought, but you have to just let it pass.  Not every thought needs to be explored. Every questions doesn't need an answer.  Sometimes we have to just let our mind experience quiet.  

   

Introducing Your Life with Rheumatoid Arthritis

I am super excited to share Your Life with Rheumatoid Arthritis: Tools for Managing Treatment, Side Effects and Pain.  The author, Lene Andersen, is both an awesome gal in the inflammatory arthritis community and an excellent friend.  I have had the pleasure of working with Lene at Health Central and as a fellow board member on Show Us Your Hands! 

While I have known for some time that Lene was writing a book, I wasn't sure what the outcome would be.  All I knew was that she was always crazy busy writing her book. Once I had a chance to read it, I was pleasantly surprised at how easy and comfortable it is to read.  Lene shares some of her personal experiences, but in usual Lene style, backs everything up with research she has done over the many years she has lived with rheumatoid arthritis. This book covers topics that will help people who need guidance in overcoming the shock of being newly diagnosed, making decisions about medications, and a variety of alternative care ideas you can add to your mix.  Most importantly in my opinion, Lene shares tips on how to go about leading a healthy and happy life after being diagnosed with RA. 

Read through the following questions I had for Lene and then look for a little surprise at the end. (Yes, it involves winning something special.)    

1. Lene, welcome to The Life and Adventures of Cateepoo. Before we dive into your book, can you give my readers a short biography of yourself?

Thank you so much for hosting my first stop on the blog tour, Cathy!

I was born and raised in Denmark, hence the funny spelling of my first name. The first symptoms of juvenile arthritis arrived when I was four years old and I was diagnosed at age 9. This was before there were any effective treatments, so I was in a power wheelchair full-time by 16. My family and I moved to Toronto, Canada in the early 1980s. I have a Masters degree in Social Work and have worked in a number of different fields, including counseling and community and policy development. After a massive flare in 2004, I decided to pursue my lifelong dream of becoming a writer.

2. What drove you to write this book?

I wanted my 40+ years of having RA and learning how to live with and around it to be useful to others. The idea became the Your Life with Rheumatoid Arthritis series. It is designed to help empower people to take back control and find a way to live well with RA, so their life is first and the disease second. The first book, Tools for Managing Treatment, Side Effects and Pain, deals with the first step in the process:of finding ways to push the effects of the disease to the back burner. Once you do that, you can focus on the next steps. The next two books in the series will deal with other aspects of living well with RA.

3. In your opinion, why is medication the first and most important route to take with RA?

I grew up in a time where there were no treatments. At that time, RA meant inevitable disability. This is no longer the case. These days, DMARDs and the Biologics can prevent the damage that causes disability and minimize the impact of the systemic effects of RA, for instance lowering the risk of heart attacks. These medications are the only treatments that have been scientifically proven to suppress the disease and stopping the damage. Unfortunately, we are not yet at a time where they work for everyone, but most will be able to have some effect, slowing down the damage. If you slow down or stop RA, you will be able to have better quality of life and be able to participate in your family, your work, your community.

4. While your book focuses on medication and everything you need to know about them, from types of medication, cost, side effects, and more, you also share several home remedies, such as garlic, hot drinks and cranberry juice. What is your favorite home remedy and how does it help you?

I've always been a bit of a magnet for side effects. Over the years, I’ve learned a lot of different tricks to manage them and I share them in the book. One of my mainstays is related to the upper respiratory infections (a.k.a. sinus infections) that are common when you take immunosuppressants, such as methotrexate and Biologics. I used to get a lot of really bad sinus infections and had to be on antibiotics every couple of months. That’s just not good for you. After a couple of years of that madness, I discovered a simple regimen to keep sinus infections at bay. You need three things: a lot of water, a lot of pineapple juice and a lot of garlic. The water dilutes the crap — that ought to be a medical term — in your sinuses and pineapple juice has an anti-inflammatory enzyme that allows the crap to drain. The garlic has antibacterial qualities, helping to prevent infection (and also tastes really yummy). Thanks to this regimen, I haven't taken antibiotics for sinus infections in almost 5 years! Whenever I feel a sinus infection coming on, I increase the amount of water, pineapple juice and garlic and am able to beat them back.

5. In chapters 33-37 you describe many types of alternative care to add to your mix. I like that. Everything from acupuncture to saying "no" were discussed. Can you share a couple of others with us?

Although I am unashamedly pro-medication, I believe alternative medicine is a really important tool in improving your general health and managing your RA symptoms. In my experience, integrating allopathic (Western) and alternative medicines can help you feel better than either of the two separately. I'm a big fan of acupuncture — it's been part of my health care since I was 12. Shiatsu massage has also been tremendously helpful for me. Another favorite is meditation, which is very helpful in dealing with pain and the stress of having a chronic illness. My favorite Toronto pain specialist, Dr. Jan Carstoniu, is quoted in the book with a terrific meditation technique: Sit down. Don't move. Shut up. Do that for 20 minutes a day and you'll feel better!

6. I was pleasantly surprised to see you had devoted a section of your book to "sex." Why was this a necessary part of the book?

You're going to be even happier with Book 3 — it'll include a much more detailed discussion of sex! Sex is an important part of being a whole human being. Unfortunately, it's often put on the shelf when you have RA. This can be because of stress, body image issues or because you or your partner is afraid it'll make you hurt more. Being physically intimate pulls you out of the place of stress, worry and pain that is so often part of RA. Sex can help you feel better about your body and as an extra benefit, the endorphins released during orgasm are really excellent painkillers! There are things you have to be careful of, but overall, there's no reason why RA should prevent you from expressing your sexuality.

7. Where else can we find your work?

In addition to the Your Life with RA website and blog, I write a personal blog called The Seated View. I am also the Community Leader for HealthCentral.com's RA site.

Thanks so much for having me as a guest on your blog!

Your Life with Rheumatoid Arthritis: Tools for Managing Treatment, Side Effects and Pain is available from Amazon for the Kindle. If you do not have a Kindle you can download a free app for computer, tablet and smartphone here.

Now for the surprise!  Lene is giving away a Kindle version of her book to two randomly chosen winners.  To enter the drawing, answer the following question in the comments section or on my Life and Adventures of Cateepoo Facebook page:

What kinds of alternative medicine have you tried?"

*Drawing will be Monday, March 4, 2013.

 

Paleo Diet According to Cateepoo

Diet has been a part of my rheumatoid arthritis plan pretty much since the very beginning . When I was first diagnosed and still in crazy mode, my brother told me about an acquaintance that went into remission using diet alone. I remember feeling like a seed had been planted in my mind with that story.  As I started on  medications without much success, that seed began to grow.  I went ahead and asked my brother to find out more about what his acquaintance was eating.  I laugh now because his diet consisted of salmon and pineapple.(A very limited Paleo diet?)  That was pretty much it.  I knew at the time I didn't have the willpower to live on salmon and pineapple alone, although that does sound like a yummy meal.  Instead, ten months after my diagnosis I met with a naturopath and began a journey of eliminating foods that are harmful to my body and adding ones that nourish it.

Until 2010, a good diet for me was low in sugar, gluten free and mostly dairy free. (In the beginning it eliminated nightshades, sugar, citrus, peanuts, dairy, gluten, and caffeine.) With my natuorpath's help I completed a successful elimination diet that allowed me to get off prednisone and reduce all medications to their lowest amounts. I went into what my rheumy called, "remission".  I stayed there until I got cocky and started adding a lot of gluten free baked goods back.  Sugar is my worst enemy.  After many elimination diets, I know this to be true.  Things got bad, I went off medications, and a new journey began.  I tried the Body Ecology Diet with terrible results (Not that the BED is bad, it just wasn't good for me.) as well as many other alternative types of treatment.

In 2010, I decided to try the Paleo Diet.  What I liked about this diet is it included lots of free range meat (we have been buying from a co-op for over ten years), organic vegetables (participated in CSA's for many years), and eliminated SUGAR and all grains. It met my philosophy of healthy foods. Having been gluten free for so many years, I found the Paleo Diet to be liberating.  I no longer went to restaurants or searched recipe books looking for alternatives to wheat based foods.  Instead, I started enjoying the wonderful foods that come from meat, vegetables, and healthy fats.  I felt like I had entered a whole new world.  Food had never tasted so delicious in its natural state.

I believe diet is key to everything.  It nourishes us, provides a happy mood, cleans our body, increases its immunity, and keeps us looking and feeling healthy.  For diet to not be a recommended lifestyle change with any disease is a disservice, in my opinion.  However, I had to find a common ground with diet that satisfies me.  When I set my mind to something, I follow the path I have laid out for myself.  What I have discovered over the years is I can be a diet Nazi.  The need to feel better has made me follow a diet to the T which also means to the point that I am mentally exhausted.  This is where I have grown the most with diet.  I have learned to let go a little and enjoy life.

In the past when following a strict diet, I have sat in restaurants watching others eat in fear of contaminating myself with a food.  I have stressed myself out with each flare that I ate an unintended food.  Although I am still conscious of what might have created a flare, I no longer do that.  I now have a few basic rules for myself:

• ALWAYS eat gluten free.
• Enjoy foods like meat, vegetables, and fat. (restaurants provide well for this rule) 
• Have fun with meals and relax.  

I do occasionally eat grains.  Once a month my daughter and I go out for breakfast.  We order gluten free pancakes (a huge serving of butter in place of syrup) with eggs and sausage.  Doing it feels indulgent and fun!  I have a glass or two of wine on the weekends with my husband.  I like the relaxed feeling I have after a long week.  I add half a serving of rice to my Chipotle meal that we have once a week.  Sometimes I like to buy chocolate covered almonds with sea salt at Trader Joe's (if you haven't eaten them before, DON'T.  They are highly addictive.)  These are my some of my guilty indulgences. What I have found is that when I allow myself a list of indulgences, rather than following a super strict Nazi diet, I am mentally happier.  This balance is the piece that was missing in the past.  I can still feel the stress and pain in my body from past experiences of stressing so much over the food I ate.

The Paleo diet might mean something different to me than it means to someone else.  To me, it is about

• Choosing high quality foods for myself and my family.
• Cooking at home 95-98% of the time.
• Avoiding processed foods.
• Finding fun in making things like fermented sauerkraut and kombucha.
• Always having a carcass ready to throw in the slow cooker for bone broth.
• Trying new vegetables.
• Finding contentment in knowing I have a new stock of bacon grease in the refrigerator.
• Discovering a new way to use a vegetable.  Rather than using pasta with meatballs and sauce, we used shredded cabbage.  Delicious.  Vegetables can be used in a variety of ways that enhance a meal.
• Planning ahead so that I always have food with me and not being embarrassed to pull out my own food..  If I know lunch will be served at work, I ALWAYS have a lunch bag full of food ready since generally lasagna or pizza is served. I can't tell you how many times people have commented that the food in my Thermos smells better than what they are eating.  :)
• Preparing food in the slow cooker on busy days. 
• Understanding that my body needs to be nourished and feeling satisfaction knowing that I am eating healthy foods in their original state.
• Enjoying cooking.  I have found that with simple ingredients like meat, vegetables, herbs and spices, along with some fat, creating meals is easy!
• Hearing my son say, "Sweet potatoes with sausage and eggs are one of my favorite breakfasts."  It is one of mine too. I am glad that eating Paleo has also created healthy eating for other family members.

Is my version of the Paleo diet perfect?  Probably not.  There are definitely a few things that need to be dialed in and when life isn't so stressful, they will be.  But for right now, I think it is perfect for ME.  My life is pretty stressed right now with a lot of work and family commitments, so finding a balance of what works is better than letting the diet go completely.  What I have enjoyed about my journey with food is that it is always changing and always getting better!

I HATE winter!

My family and I have lived in the Chicago area for almost 15 years now.  The first few years I kind of liked winter here.  Lots of snow was exciting and fun.  However, over the years, I have found myself in a love/hate relationship with winter, leaning more on the HATE side.  The first snow, I love.  I get up early to make sure Izzy and I are the first walkers of the day.  There is nothing better than the calm that comes after a snow.  I come back from a long walk refreshed and happy, marveling in nature.  It's the preceding days that I hate.  The snow melts a little and refreezes.  Each footprint in the snow has frozen over so when you try to avoid the slippery sidewalks, you end up nearly twisting an ankle as you walk on top of previous walker's boot prints.   I find myself silently yelling at neighbors who don't shovel their sidewalks and neighbors who let their sump pump empty directly onto the sidewalk so there is a heavy sheet of ice.  I end up returning home angry at the world and often that attitude stays with me all day.  This is what happened yesterday.  I took a walk and felt angry all day. My walks are what generally calm my mind and make the rest of the day doable.  I feel like this time of the year, I struggle.      

Yesterday, after it had rained the night before, my walk was miserable.  A lot of the snow had melted but there were so many patches of ice on the sidewalk and in our yards that walking was more like participating in an obstacle course than being a serene time of the day.  I worried about my border collie Izzy and myself slipping. I came home and told my husband, "I hate living here."

As I reflected on "I hate living here" later in the day, I realized I hate many things about winter.  It seems like forever since we have had sunshine for more than a few hours at a time. Whenever the sun is out, I want to absorb as much as I can, as if my body is starving for it. By February, I am absolutely sick and tired of putting on four layers of pants, two shirts and my coat, a face mask, a hat, and then a big hat over that one along with big clunky gloves and boots to insure the Rayaund's in my hands and feet can make it through a 35-45 minute walk.  I am tired of wiping down my border collie when we get home because she smells like a wet dog who then rubs herself all over the furniture.  I am tired of having smashed down hair from wearing a hat everywhere I go, but know that without it, my ears which also seem to deal with Rayaund's, become so painful I can't handle it.  I'm tired of brushing against a dirty car and looking out of windows that have dirt, salt, and other winter debris. I 'm tired of everything just being dirty!  By February, whether we have tons of snow or not, I am tired of living in the Chicago area.  I told my husband that I could handle the cold and snow if the sun was out.  I think it is true.  I think more than anything, I just miss the sun.  I need it in a bad, bad way.  

Today, I am going to focus on getting my mind out of the "hate" mode and back to a happy place.  For starters, I am going to focus on the positive of winter:
1.
2.
3.
Help!!!!!  I can't think of anything today!  I know there are a few.

Ok, change of focus.  Rather than focus on what I like about winter, I am going to spend time today visualizing myself on a beach with the sun shining down on me.  I am going to take time to read encouraging words, meditate, make delicious food, and laugh (even if I have to force it).  I'm going to clean the house and declutter my desk, because even though I can't take away the dirt outside, I can clean it up inside.

What do you do about winter blues?