Monday, February 9, 2009

Reflection on Friendship

Last week I posted about a lost friendship. I shared that you know you have a good thing when you are a 41 year old woman who still calls your mom to help you through a crisis with a friend. When I posted it, it felt right. Later in the day though, I felt like maybe I wasn't ready to share that my friendship with someone I really admire was lost and deleted the post. However, after reflecting on it a little more, I have decided that this little blog space is my place to share a part of me and a big part of me has felt a real loss over this.

Throughout this unexpected turn of events, my mom has encouraged me with words that I needed to hear. She has reminded me that we each have a role to play in our friendships and that even though we don't always want a friendship to end, we sometimes have to let it go when it is quite obvious it is over. We have to pray that our friend is on the path he/she was meant to travel and most importantly, "be thankful for the good times you had together and let the rest go." I can't even begin to tell you how much easier it has made this by following her words. Sometimes in a difficult situation we forget about the good times together and the things we admired about that person, but when I heard my moms words to "be thankful for the times together", it made everything easier.

A friend of mine always says, "People come into our life for a reason." My lost friend was in my life for a reason and I in hers for a reason. Maybe we have completed the reason for being together.....I don't know. However, I feel ready to "let the rest go" and focus on how I have grown as a person because of the time I spent with her.

Thanks Mom for having the right words for me. I love you a lot!


  1. If you only knew how honored I am to be your mother! It warms my heart to see what a beautiful woman you have grown to be. Life sucks sometimes (remember I wouldn't let you all use that word when you were growing up but adults find that nothing else is quite as appropriate ;0) Always remember how much I love you. Mom

  2. Cathy:
    I too recently lost a wonderful friendship, thank you for sharing, you and your mothers wisdom make it easier for me to understand!

  3. I just read on another blog that friendships are for "a reason, a season or a lifetime."

    I would bet you could probably figure out which of these rolls your lost friend fulfilled.

    I'm glad you can remember the good times :)

  4. I've never really had the type of friendships that you and Stacey have had with other people. I can pretty much only relate to it with my marriage and divorce from Steve. We had good times and beautiful children, but when it was time to seperate it was for the best and now I have a wonderful new friend in Earl and 3 more beautiful kids.

    Mom is wonderful to talk to!

    Love you!!

  5. I've had to end a friendship, and it was very difficult. But it turned out for the best. We were becoming different people, and if I hadn't ended the relationship, I probably wouldn't have Seth today. She brought us both down and it caused lots of tension in mine and his relationship. I have no hard feelings towards her, but I know we can't be friends. I'm glad that you are finding peace with the situation you are facing.

  6. It is always hard to end a relationship, even if it was not a good one. We as people are creatures of habit, and sometimes habits include the people we hag out with. Being mature enough to recognize that the relationship was over, and being able to move on past it, is a good thing.

    Cherish the memories of the good times, and let go of the bad ones.