Friday, February 26, 2010

Hanging On to My Vision

In 2004 when I agreed to go on medications for rheumatoid arthritis it felt wrong to me, but also felt like where I needed to be at that time. In the back of my mind I told myself this would not be a lifelong pattern for me. I knew someday I would be off medications and working towards healing in a way that fits who I am. In February of 2008 I took the leap and went off medications. As I battled the temper tantrum my body gave to not having the meds, I held a vision of healing in my mind day after day knowing that when the time was right, my body would have what it needs to be strong and healthy again.

My vision of natural healing has been challenged many times over the two years that I have been medication free, but I have never once seriously considered going back on meds. I just knew my body needed more than what I was giving it and with time it would come. This last flare though really challenged my vision. It didn't take it away, but it strongly challenged it. During this flare my mind continued to remember my body will heal (thanks to everyone that kept reminding me), but the strength to fight just wasn't there.

I decided that I needed help. My plan was this: First I would call my rheumatologist and ask for a round of prednsione to get me through this flare. (This was a really hard decision for me to make.) Second, I would visit my naturopath and get a new plan of action going to speed up the healing process. Well, both plans failed. I have not used our insurance in a long time and had complications with that which prevented me from seeing the rheumatologist and then I wasn't able to get in to see my naturopath. Do you ever feel like the universe is working to lead you in the direction that your heart knows is best?

As this month long temper tantrum my body has been throwing is starting to calm down, I am glad there were complications with insurance and I wasn't able to get the prednsione and I am glad my naturopath couldn't see me and I was forced to look for alternatives. My husband keeps reminding me that we haven't exhausted all of our options and we will keep looking until we find what works. The complications in my plans helped push me to look at other options.

What I decided to do was visit the National University of Health Sciences clinic near my house. There I have access to naturopaths, chiropractors, massage therapy, acupuncture, lab work, Chinese Medicine, and much more at a reduced rate! My first two visits were a little frustrating, but in the end I was glad I stayed and shared my frustrations and needs with them rather than just leaving because today I sat down with my new naturopath and discussed my new plan of action. I like the plan and feel very optimistic about it. In fact, after my appointment I feel optimistic about everything!!!

Rheumatoid arthritis has really asked a lot of me in the last six years. It has asked me to dig deep to figure out who I really am as an individual , it has challenged me on how much physical pain I can handle, and it has repeatedly tested to see if I will stay true to my vision of natural healing. I feel almost giddy with excitement today knowing that I am successfully making it through each of the requests RA has placed on me. I am looking forward to following a plan that is working towards my goals of natural healing. I am glad to see that the direction I originally felt I needed to go when I started the Body Ecology Diet is the direction that my health professionals also find important. I am glad that I am following a plan that just feels right to me and honors who I am. I am glad that I have a vision of my body healing because that is exactly what it is going to do!