Wednesday, February 24, 2010

On Hold

Life as I like to live it has been put on hold for the last month. Although rheumatoid arthritis has been a part of my life for the last six years, this time around it has shown its mighty strength in a new way. I have attempted to throw my own strength back, but this time around RA has been stronger than me and has left me feeling physically and emotionally depleted. I have had to rethink everything I am doing and I hope to share that with you in the next day or so. Fortunately, the last few days have been better for me, but I just need a little more time for my feelings to be worked out before I can share.

Thanks so much to everyone that has checked in on me or sent a healing thought my way. It is nice to know I am missed and cared for by so many.


  1. Cateepoo: Rather than "On Hold", I'd say to you "Hold On". Unfortunately, RA makes us rethink/refocus in ways that we'd prefer not to. You've shown amazing strength and just know that you have a whole community of us supporting you. --Carla's Corner

  2. I love you Cathy! It kills me to see you not doing well. I have spent so many times over the last few weeks in tears because I want so bad for you to be better. I want to be strong and positive for you though. I just want you to know that I care about you so much, love you and think healing thoughts for you all the time.


  3. Cathy, I am sorry that you are not feeling well. I am sure the weather plays some part in the worsening of your symptoms. I am sending healing thoughts your way.

    Since my diagnosis, you have always shown me the positive side of living with RA and I have always appreciated that. I am supporting you as well. Hang in there and please feel free to shoot an email if you need some support. (((Hugs)))

  4. I have been thinking about you so much and waiting patiently to hear how you are doing. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. For now, I will just continue holding you in the light and sending warm and peaceful thoughts your way.

  5. I've been thinking of you so much lately and hoping you've been feeling better. I'm glad, at least, that the last couple of days have shown a bit of improvement.

    Still thinking of you. You have a whole community of friends here sending you supportive thoughts.

  6. Your presence online has been missed, but I along with others can only hope that you are doing everything possible to take care of yourself. The ride can be rough at times, but somehow we always seem to get to the next day, no? Hang in there and take care, sending healing thoughts.

  7. You have been so much in my thoughts and prayers, Cathy. I know you will come through this even stronger. Love and hugs.

  8. Why Some People Do Not Heal
    There are a number of reasons why some people though claiming to want to be healed, do not heal at all. How often do we hear "Of course, I want to be healed!"? Yet these people remain in the same condition. Why? Because, in many instances, there are hidden second­ary gains to their illness which they are protecting.

    These secondary gains may pass unnoticed, but they. are there. We may not be aware of it, but they do keep us from accepting the healing that we say we deserve. Take a look at some of the most common uses of illness for secondary gains.

    1. As a Means to Punish the Self. Some people seek to "pay back" their guilt feelings through self-­punishment. Just like many reli­gious fanatics, the flagellantes, who inflict injury upon themselves as a means of penance. In modern times, various kinds of sickness serve the same purpose. Some masochistic personalities even deliberately draw to themselves injuries, illness, and suffering in order that they may punish themselves.

    2. Illness for Power Play. Some people use illness as some kind of a power wedge to "whip" members of their family. Take the mother who "suffers" a heart attack at will, in order to keep her daughter from leaving the nest. More com­mon is the mother who prefers not to get well, because her illness is the power she wields each time his son plans to share his love with a younger woman. A threatened heart attack, for instance, is enough to keep the son from getting mar­ried.

    3. As a Tool for Dodging Res­ponsibility. A number of people use illness a~ an effective tool for avoiding responsibility. You see this type in many guises. But the most common is a situation where one welcomes even a broken bone, aside from a number of minor illnesses, as minor as a cold or fever, to coin­cide with inventory time in the office. The illnesses vary in gravity depending on the duration of the responsibility being dodged.

    4. As an Aid to a "Martyr". Parents often use ill­ness as a convenient tool for their martyr image. Parents who have worked their fingers to the bone for the family now feel that they deserve to be taken care of by their grown­up children. By being sick, they' are able· to create a situation which the children cannot ignore. Hence, the longer they are in this condi­tion, the more they are assured of their children's attention. These are the people who enjoy casting them­selves in the tragic role of a martyr, enjoying the sympathy of relatives and friends.

    5. As an Instrument to Gain Love. Many people enjoy using ill­ness as an instrument to draw con­cern from their loved ones. By being sick, the neglected member of the family seeks to gain the love he craves. When not given the. atten­tion and love which he thinks he deserves, he feigns illness at the start, not knowing that this could develop into something real.

  9. 6. As a Means to Get Attention. For some people, illness is an effective means to get attention. To this group belongs the frustrated prima donna, who finds her ailment an everyday affair, an 'ever ready subject for interesting conversation. As she talks about herself, you can be sure to hear dialogues, like "Do you know what the latest is? I've had this operation here. I had a tumor taken out here. I had this pain here!" and many more. Al­ways, she can be counted on for a recital ~f her ailments, most of them imagined. For the real ones, she rejects a healing because she, hates to give up the drama of re­citing those symptoms. Her never-­ending story of real and imagined sufferings assures her of the atten­tion she desires.

    7. As a Vehicle to "Fame". Some people enjoy being sick because they· take pride in narrating how doctors, healers, and even miracle workers have failed to heal them. They use, illness as' some kind ofa vehicle to fame. They chal­lenge well-known, specialists to try to heal them, although secretly they do not want to give up their condition. As soon as "they are healed, they know there won't be anything more to talk about: By getting well, they completely lose their chance to achieve bigger fame for being a unique case that has baffled experts.

    8. As an' Instrument to "Get Even ". Many enjoy being sick be­cause they are able to use illness as an instrument to get even as they prove a point or to punish some­body. Listen to a housewife who enjoys her allergy because she will have the chance to get back at her husband "I wouldn't be sick if we stayed in Makati where we belong!" Or a housewife who capitalizes on .her allergy to house dust so that she would be excused from doing "dusty" housework. And how about the husband who complains of fatigue when repairs are to be done at home, but suddenly surges with energy to tackle 18 holes at the golf course? This certainly is an effective way of getting back at wife who is "allergic" to house­work.

    9. As Trophies. Some people enjoy being sick or injured because they consider these conditions as trophies to be proud of. The accident-prone victim, who actually prides himself on his many acci­dents, may not realize it, but he draws these incidents to himself. If only he can, he would make a tro­phy of each of the accident or in­jury he has suffered, and display them all in his house. Psychologists have proven that certain personali­ties do attract accidents for various reasons related to the secondary gains that we have shown here.

    Now you see why some people fail to be healed despite diligent efforts of doctors and healers to help them. Any of the foregoing reasons is enough to inhibit the full use of man's natural recuperative system. These are only some of the reasons why healing sometimes fail.

  10. I feel your pain and wish you well. Hope you feel better soon...ciaole

  11. Cathy,
    I am so sorry that you have been feeling so badly. As you know I have had my own struggles with this disease lately as well. You have always been my inspiration in living with this disease using healthy natural methods. When I have wavered in my commitment to natural healing, I think of you. I think of something you said a while ago about the body wanting to be well. I really believe that. It keeps me going when RA gets tough.

    I know that this is really hard right now but try to keep in mind that even RA patients using conventional treatments go through times when RA flares.

    I hope that this flare doesn't last too long and I will be sending some healing energy your way.

    You have been a great support to me in some of the most difficult times that I have had in dealing with this disease. Your spirit has always lifted me up when I was feeling down.

    Take care. I am here for you. (((Hugs)))