As an introvert, I gain energy from down time. When I know an event is coming up that will zap a lot of my energy, it is as if I have to save up as much energy as I can beforehand. I do this by spending a few days at home doing absolutely nothing. A cashier at Trader Joe's once asked what my plans for the weekend were and when I said, "Absolutely nothing," she replied back, "That's a surprise. Most people pack every minute of their weekend with something." When I am flaring or feel a flare coming on, I don't hesitate opening up my schedule as much as possible with nothingness. For some people this is really hard, for me, it comes with ease.
During Christmas season, a rheumatoid arthritis Facebook page asked something along the lines of "What do you do during the holidays when you don't feel well enough to go to parties/get togethers?" This made me chuckle. My introvert personality has prepared me well for this part of rheumatoid arthritis also. I've been avoiding parties my entire life. I always have fun when I go (I do like people and I am often attracted to extroverts!), but I am also always trying to figure a way out of going because I know how much energy it will require to talk to a variety of people when I know I would be quite content spending the evening at home.
There have been times over the last few years where I have over-committed myself and I am sure it will happen again, but for the most part, I keep commitments to a minimum. This is something important I have learned about my personality. When I over-commit, I shut down and don't accomplish anything. This is important as someone who deals with the ups and downs of RA. When you over-commit and then have a flare, it is hard to back out of those commitments so the stress builds up as the flare intensifies. I have found that for my type of personality and because of the unpredictability of RA, keeping commitments to a minimum is the best thing I can do for myself and the most respectful thing I can do for others.
Conserving energy, backing out of social events, and not over committing are all things that benefit our bodies when we are flaring. For me, these are all second nature for me. My personality doesn't really allow for anything different. I do often wonder though what it must be like to be an extrovert with rheumatoid arthritis. How do you slow down?
To learn more about introverts, watch Susan Cain's TED video or join Quiet Revolution on Facebook or Twitter.
Hi Cathy: I once heard interesting definitions of introverts and extraverts that I actually finally agree with. It stated that extraverts GAIN energy from being around other people and exciting situations. Introverts, however, have so much going on inside their heads that all that additional activity is actually draining and stressful. It becomes too much to process. I've always liked giving parties more than going to parties because it always gives me something to do besides make small talk. :-) And at a party, I'd rather have a meaningful conversation in the corner with an interesting person than circulate and talk to everyone. Hope your year is starting out well.
ReplyDeleteThis definition of introverts describes me perfectly. I have whole conversations in my head.
DeleteCongratulations on sharing your story a bit more broadly! (And to think I knew you when ...). You do have an inspiring story and shouldn't feel guilty about the good days. We all need to know those exist!
ReplyDeleteThanks Carla. It is a wonderful feeling to look back and see how far I've come. Thanks for always having an encouraging word.
DeleteYES!!!! This is so true! I often feel at a huge advantage in the realm of "self care" because I so often *naturally* find myself needing to retreat to read, nap, listen to music, write, etc. ALONE. The power of introverts in a world that won't stop talking...... :)
ReplyDeleteIsn't it lovely to find our personality actually is a benefit to our disease? Thanks for "getting it" Kenzie.
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