Saturday, June 21, 2008

Could My Organs Be Doing a Little Jig?

If you haven't noticed yet from my previous blogs, I have absolutely loved reading GOING GRAY by Anne Kreamer. I have loved it so much that I found her email address on her website, emailed her before going to bed, and woke up to a very friendly reply back from her. She said my blog was "terrific" and "your writing resonates with warmth, love and wisdom." That totally made my day! Anyhow, I have finished the book, although I do have one more entry I want to write about another day. You know when you read a good book and you aren't ready for it to be over? Well, that is how I felt. So, I searched more on Anne Kreamer (hopefully she isn't able to track my searches and thinks I am stalking her). I found the following article which really hit home for me, not about coloring my hair but going off meds.

The following is my favorite part of the article:
When Jablonski (a primatologist, an evolutionary biologist and a paleontologist. She studies skin not from the dermatologist’s perspective, but from the evolutionist’s -- how we went from ape fur to skin -- and the social function of skin. And she thinks skin is our most underappreciated organ) was asked about her own skin in a New York Times interview, she said, “I like it. It is my unwritten biography. My skin reminds me that I’m a 53-year-old woman who has smiled and furrowed her brow and, on occasion, worked in the desert sun too long. I enjoy watching my skin change because it’s one of the few parts of my body that I can watch. We can’t view our livers or heart, but this we can.”

Over and over I have thought about what Jablonski said, but in the reverse. Since going medication free four months ago, I have been able to physically feel and see what rheumatoid arthritis is doing to my body. However, the other night while walking down the stairs at work (I have figured out that if I let my students out 3 minutes earlier for break, everyone doesn't have to see my awkwardly walk down the stairs) I had this new realization. I can't see my liver, kidneys, and heart, but I wonder if they are doing a little jig inside my body because they are so excited I am not killing them with medication any longer. I wonder if they are in fact working on repairing the damage the medications have done and they need to do their part before I can see and feel changes in my joints. Isn't that an exciting thought? For me it is a very comforting thought and one that makes it bearable to live with the physical side of this a little longer.