Thursday, February 12, 2009

Feeling Beautiful

Late yesterday afternoon as I pulled my cell phone out of my purse, I realized I had a message. A friend that I spent the afternoon with had called to tell me she thought my hair looked beautiful. Wow! I love hearing that! After talking with her some more, she said, "I never even see gray when I look at you, and the natural color just makes you look so naturally beautiful, because it's perfectly suited to you."

As more of my natural hair grows in and replaces the colored, I have been thinking the same thing...the natural color just seems to suit me better. I am really happy with it. In fact, while I was doing a search for pictures of the kids the other day, I saw a picture of me right before I started coloring my hair. I really liked how my hair looked. It made me think about why I colored it in the first place. It wasn't an easy decision for me. I remember asking all my friends at the time for advice and going back and forth over whether to do it or not and then have never felt completely comfortable with it. I guess it has just never felt like "me".

Sophia asked me the other day if I thought the chemicals of hair coloring had contributed to my rheumatoid arthritis. That's when it made sense. I started coloring my hair after being diagnosed. Maybe coloring my hair was my way of gaining some control over what happened to me when RA seems to take that option away from you. At the time I remember I was struggling with my hair thinning out because of the medications. Maybe as I gain more control over my RA, I don't feel the need to control other parts of my life, such as my hair.