Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Emotional Blockage Set Free

The last five and a half years have led me down a journey of experimentation with many different types of alternative care. Although not one has been the magic cure, they have each played an important role in my recovery and lead me to the place I need to be next. Last summer I visited with a gal that practices a form of kinesology known as "Diffusion". Basically we were working on the emotional part of how rheumatoid arthritis affects my body and mind. "Diffusion" is a way of releasing a lot of built up emotional blockages that may play a role in rheumatoid arthritis. After each session I felt a sense of freedom. I felt like issues that I had been holding onto for years were released from my body and have never returned. It was an amazing and powerful therapy.

On one of my first visits with this gal, we briefly discussed what was going on with my body and how I felt about it emotionally. She then pulled out a book titled
Your Body's Telling You: Love Yourself!: The most complete book on metaphysical causes of illnesses & diseases by Lise Bourbeau. Lisa Bourbeau is a student of Louise Hay. She started reading to me the following:

Emotional Block: Generally, if you suffer from rheumatoid arthritis, you are very self-critical; you have difficulty doing what you enjoy and asking others for help. Although you seem amenable enough, you let resentment build up while you wait for others to figure out telepathically what you need. You may even have thoughts of vengeance when others don't figure it out. Just as this disease is paralyzing physically, it also indicates emotional paralysis.

Mental Block: Why do you think it is so difficult for you to express your needs to others? Do you feel that you will be viewed as selfish if you do what you enjoy? Is that really true? What is "being selfish" for you? Listen to your own body and learn to say no when you are asked to do something you do not feel like doing. But if you decide to say yes, experience greater enjoyment of the things you are doing without criticizing yourself. Heaping responsibility on yourself simply to gain the recognition of others is ok, if you accept the fact that you're doing it only for yourself and not because someone is forcing you. If you want and need recognition, acknowledge and accept this in yourself without judgement or criticism.

Immediately I asked if she could make a copy for me because my husband was not going to believe this! This is exactly what he had been telling me for years. I have a difficult time asking for help and assume he understands my thoughts without telling him. Oh boy!

This last year I have referred back to this reading many times and today as I look at it again, I realize how far I have come in the last year. Last week when our only car broke down and my kids needed to be picked up, I took a deep breath and called a friend. She was at a restaurant and was quickly going to have her food boxed up but would still have a 30-45 minute drive. Then I contacted another friend (Alexander was at her house) and she immediately took off to get Sophia and then me. I think in the past I always felt I might be inconveniencing someone but what I am learning is that people like to help. When I talked to the first friend the next day she apologized that she couldn't get there faster. She wanted to be able to help me. Wow! Lucky for me I have also had a couple of people come into my life that are very good at asking for help and have been great role models for me. I love when people show up in your life at just the right time!

I am also working at sharing my feelings as they are occurring. This is so liberating! I still have a ways to go in this area but I like the progress I am making.

For many of you with rheumatoid arthritis you may read this and feel it does not relate to you in the least and it may not. As someone who avoids all labels and even dislikes claiming I have rheumatoid arthritis because I feel it puts me in a box that is hard to crawl out of, I totally understand. This may not be you. But, I found it is me and I am glad this reading was shared with me so I could take it to heart and bring changes to my life.