Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Off the Arava and More

~I am off Arava for a week or two to see if the increased joint pain, tightness in ribs, slight nausea in morning and swollen glands is from the drug or just a coincidence.

~I was walking into work with a gal yesterday morning. As we approached the steps she said, "Your knees are really bothering you today, aren't they?" She started asking questions as the tears started building and I told her it was too early and too painful to talk about right then. She said she understood but just wanted to say, "You look GREAT." I laughed and she said, "Maybe you can just stand there without moving looking great." That made me laugh again.

~In six years I have never talked about my RA at work but since I am teaching in the mornings now, there is no way around it. By the time classes were over yesterday my body had loosened up a bit. So, when another teacher walked out with me and mentioned that it looked like I was having a bad day I was able to talk without crying. She had a million questions and stopped once and said, "I hope you don't mind all the questions." I didn't. Actually, I liked that she had such good questions and she didn't tie any advice to the questions. She just truly wanted to know the information.

1 comment:

  1. I hope they can figure out what is making you hurt worse and then find something to make you feel better.

    I think one of the things I'm struggling with is being understood and then trying to figure out how much to share.

    I feel comfortable talking to someone who has RA or has chronic pain but I never quite know what is appropriate for people that don't quite get what I have...and some of that is because I don't want to open myself up to the "you look great" conversation. Though I have replied to that statement "I wish I felt as great as I look."

    It's funny the people around us tend to become more compassionate as they see what we go through and yet I feel more closed up these days than I ever have before.

    39 and starting over's not quite how I had pictured my life playing out...