Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Rheumatoid Arthritis & Life: Learning to Accept Change and Let Go of the Past

Life is full of change. Change is scary. Change is hard. It often feels easier to stay where we are in life than accept the change that is occurring. However, life always has other plans for us and throws us situations that create change whether we want it or not. The problem is often not in the change, but in "letting go" of what was and embracing what is now.

In April, life brought a huge change to my life. My dad passed away. This has left a huge empty whole in my spirit. Although I can only think of beautiful memories when I think of my dad, his death feels wrong. It feels as if one of the most beautiful gifts ever given to me has been taken away and life will never seem quite as good. I don't want this change. I want to hold onto my dad and put things back to the way they were before.

As I have reflected on the end of my dad's life, I have realized that many of the feelings I am experiencing are very similar to the feelings I have experienced off and on the last seven and a half years of living with rheumatoid arthritis. It has felt wrong. It has felt like the beautiful gifts life has given me were being taken away. It has felt wrong.

To read more, visit my contributing post at MyRACentral.


  1. I feel for the hole in your heart and in your spirit. I've often thought that the first half of your life is about getting things -- education, family, home -- and the second half is about letting go as the older generation passes on and kids grow up. Each phase has its own blessings, and while they don't replace the gifts that may have passed, I know that your life will continue to be blessed.

  2. We lost alot this past year in my family and I can so relate to what you posted. I try to live my life kindly as much as I can. I have this theory that each time I do a good act or deed, I am blessing those that have passed. I do it in their memory. No one knows this as I do the good deed (heck alot of times the person doesn't even know who has done the kind thing) but I do it as a celebration of their life here on earth and a celebration to their new life. And I know in my heart that it is I, not they, that are suffering right now. I hold onto the fact that one day we will meet again and celebrate our time together once again.

  3. Cathy: You are always so wise and this post was no exception. I've been thinking about you lately and wondering how you're doing. I know you're taking comfort in being surrounded by your beautiful kids and your amazing husband, but know that I'm here too if you ever want to talk. I'd love to know more about your dad - he sounds like a true gem. Sending you a big hug <3