When my knee started acting up some time ago, it caused me to start limping. As time went on and the limping continued, I felt less attractive. My husband regularly tells me this isn't true, but deep down this is how I feel. My insecurity with people looking at me (aka my limp) has changed the way I dress. Although I have always had more of a "mommy look" than a "sexy look", I realized that all the clothes that I have bought since my limp began have been less defining of my body. It just occurred to me the other day that maybe this is my way of making sure people don't look at me.
This idea came to me as I was walking into my appointment on Monday and saw my reflection in the mirror. I like the way I look. I feel like I have nice curves and overall I am happy with my body. But what I saw in the glass didn't show that off. Maybe as I am feeling better, I am ready to start having people look at me again and not feel like I need to hide. While this is sad to realize about myself, I am glad that I am coming back to a point where I feel attractive again.
Good for you Cathy!! I've always thought you were beautiful, but we all see ourselves differently than others do. I'm glad your feeling better about yourself!
ReplyDeleteSherry
Living with rheumatoid arthritis creates a lot of vulnerabilities in our person, both private and public. Bravo to you for recognizing your right to talk about and move through some of these issues. You are a stronger person because of it.
ReplyDeleteTime for some shopping to show off all the hard work you have done! :)
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