Thursday, July 23, 2009

Reflective Morning

This morning with a little extra time and a quiet house, I have been looking over my blog and rereading some old posts. One post in particular caught my attention because it reminded me of my belief in the body to heal. In My Body Expects A Lot From Me I shared how when I put good things into my body and manage my stress levels that my body always rewards me with good health. The last two weeks I have been eating well, taking a lot of deep breaths and trying to enjoy the moment I am in. This has all paid off. I have been feeling well both mentally and physically. I believe the acupuncture treatments are helping but the treatments can't work without me wanting them to. I was reminded of the huge part I play in my recovery when my acupuncturist told me to come in if I had any problems before the next appointment. I told him I hoped that wouldn't happen and he said, "It is more up to you than me." It is up to me. I play a huge part in my recovery and although I had a weak moment last night and put something toxic into my body, I am making progress. I am moving ahead.

Another post I wrote early on in my blog was The Real Me Behind Meds and Hair Coloring. Rereading this post brought me back to the day I decided I wasn't going to take any more medications. Something deep within me just said, "This is the time. Do it." The thought of putting the medications (methotrexate and plaquenil) into my body that day made me feel nauseated and I knew that the time was right to do what I had wanted to do since the day I started medications and that was to STOP taking them.

I have been medication free since February 2008. This is huge for me. The experience has been the most difficult thing I have ever taken on in my life and also one of the best. I feel so proud of myself for my decisions and the strength I have had to keep going knowing the day would come when my body would heal. My naturopath always told me, "It took years of abuse for your body to get this way and it is going to take time for it to heal." We live in a society with quick fixes and to work at finding the cause of our illness takes time and patience, something we are not accustomed to. My patience has been tried over and over and I am still not as patient as I would like with RA, but the time is coming and the healing is happening. Even with stiff fingers and an upset stomach from the pizza, I can feel the energy in my body swirling around and bringing good things to me. Healing is taking over and winning!