My Dad

I have always had a special relationship with my dad.  When I call him on the phone, I frequently say, "Hi.  It's your favorite daughter."  He says, "Hi Cathy."  Of course he has caller id on his phone so he knows it is me when he answers, but my whole life I have felt like his favorite child just as I imagine my five siblings have felt.  He has a special way of making me feel that I am the most important person. 

When I was a little girl/teenager he would hear me cry and come into my room to talk to me.  He understood my personality well and would often just hold me as I cried.  He saw me through many teenage break-ups by just holding me and letting me cry without feeling he needed to give advice or force me to share. As an adult he has supported my choices for unschooling my children and has often told me how proud he is of my children.  When I went gluten/dairy free, he and his wife Carol made their home my safe spot when visiting Wichita.  I knew I could eat at their house and I would always be safe.  I feel taken care of when with my dad.

As I talked to him on the phone yesterday about the cancer that has spread further into his body, I shared with him my sadness.  I want to be strong, but with him I always feel I can openly share what is inside me and I needed to share that with him.  As I talked, I imagined his arms wrapped around me and I felt safe. 

Like his own mother and father, he doesn't appear to be afraid of death.  He has had many good experiences and had a lifetime of love from family.  When he shares this attitude, I feel calm. 


Sophia, Cathy, Dad, Carol (Dad's amazing wife and my good friend), Steve, and Alexander
January 2010

My dad's cancer is now beyond any cure. What bothers me now is the pain he is experiencing.  They are hoping to start radiation soon to manage the pain.  Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers that the pain can be managed and his days more relaxing. 

Hello Rheumatoid Arthritis

Hello RA.  Yes, I know, you are back.   I have felt you making your way back into my life the last few weeks through my feet.  I was on to you.  I know you like to hit the feet first so I wasn't surprised when you came to me in my sleep two nights ago and invaded my right hip.  That's okay.  I honestly haven't missed you all these months that you have been away, but I knew you would return.  I had finally passed the stage of worrying about your return each morning I wake up, but I knew it would happen. I wasn't foolish enough to believe that our relationship was over. I do need to warn you about something RA.  I am now physically and emotionally stronger than I was last time you visited.  You may still make me cry in pain and frustration, but what I have now is months of good days stored in my memory and they will see me through this tough spot.  Plus, I have had months of exercise that have made my body strong and balanced and makes dealing with you that much easier.  So, bring it on!  I am ready.  (Kind of.)        

Part of the Crowd

One thing I really like about myself is that I generally follow my heart.  If something feels right, I do it.  If it doesn't, I don't.  The reason I like this about myself is because as a teen and young adult I often felt like I made decisions based on what others would think of me.  I never felt like I was being true to myself.  Now, I am often following paths that many people don't understand.  The disadvantage of following my heart is that it often leaves me feeling alone, which for an introvert like me, isn't exactly the worst thing. 

Yesterday I attended an ESL workshop with a group of my peers.  I knew lunch was going to be served so as I always do in these situations, I prepared my own lunch.  For many people, this seems to be a little extreme to reheat food from the previous night and throw it into a thermos so you don't feel sick to your stomach from eating foods that don't agree with you.  Many comments were made (as they often are when I pull out my thermos and reject the pizza, lasagna or other foods loaded with foods I don't eat) at lunch time about me bringing my own food.  Over the years, I have gotten used to being the oddball and it doesn't really bother me or make me feel like I need to hide in a corner and eat.  Besides that, the group was making me laugh so hard that it didn't matter what they thought about me bringing my own lunch.  Saying all of that, it is on occasion nice to be part of the group and connect with them 100%. 

After lunch, we had two hours of workshops left.  As I headed out of the restroom, one of my peers had her personal items and was heading out the door.  She reminded me that since there was a screw up, our professional hours would not be available to us immediately after the workshop.  Instead, we would receive them through email.  I was tired, but I still planned to head back in for the remainder of my time.  Then, I ran into another peer with her personal belongings.  She too reminded me that hours were coming through email.  She said, "Go grab your coat and let's go."  Suddenly I felt connected.  As a high schooler, I loved "jipping" school and her invitation to leave suddenly left me feeling like I was 16 years old.  I worried they might take attendance at the end and I would lose my credit hours and get in trouble with the two schools I teach for  who are expecting these hours, but I didn't care.  Suddenly the thought of skipping out and being a part of the group was too tempting.  I ran into the classroom, grabbed my personal belongings and met up with my peer.  We talked a few minutes and then we were both in our own cars going our own directions again.  Now, I am keeping my fingers crossed that those hours come through.  :) 

Exciting Things Happening for Cateepoo

Life is always changing and always bringing new gifts and new challenges.  I want to share a few exciting things that are currently happening for me.

First, I volunteered to be in a "Paleo Diet & Autoimmune Conditions" study many months ago.  It is finally happening.  I received my first set of questions this morning.  I am super excited to be able to add to this study as I feel this diet supports my beliefs in promoting local organic farmers, free range meat and eggs, and focuses heavily on autoimmune disease.  Robb Wolf even has suggestions for additional foods to eliminate if you have autoimmune disease. 

Second, I have been asked to be a contributor for MyRACentral.  Check out my first three posts:

"Keep moving." This has been a personal motto for me since rheumatoid arthritis became a part of my life seven years ago. I have a stubborn streak in me that decided early on that rheumatoid arthritis was not going to take any and everything it wanted from me. I was going to fight back. A huge part of that fight was to keep moving no matter what.
You can read the rest of the post here.

Ever since my diagnosis in 2004 of rheumatoid arthritis, I have had a belief that our body wants to heal itself.  I believe our bodies are amazing beings that are constantly trying to fix the evils we throw at them. 
You can read the rest of the post here.

My name is Cathy. I also respond to" Mom", "Momma", "Cateepoo"," Cath", and "Teacher". I am many things to many people. I am a wife of 22 years to Steve, I am a child led homeschooling mom to Alexander, 14 and Sophia, 12. I am a sister to five siblings. I am an adult ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher. I am a friend. I am the owner of a four year old border collie and I am a life learner. I also have rheumatoid arthritis.
You can read the rest here.


It feels wonderful to be in a good place right now with my rheumatoid arthritis and it feels wonderful to know I can contribute to helping others in the small ways available to me.  I am very hopeful that this study will shed light on how diet plays a part in autoimmune disease and feel honored to give my input.  At one time I felt that rheumatoid arthritis was the focus of my life and decided to not contribute any longer to another health site.  For now, I feel that rheumatoid is taking a back seat in my life and I feel comfortable writing about it in a place other than my own blog.  Let me know what you think about the posts.   

Cold and Flu Season

Now that I am back to taking medications for rheumatoid arthritis, I have wondered how my body would stand up to the cold and flu season.  When the Enbrel nurse was here in July she warned me of being around little kids now that my immune system is suppressed.  Since I am around little kids a lot and many adults who come to school sick, I am at risk.  Also, both of my own kids and my husband have been sick one time each this winter.  While I am not yet in the clear yet, I am happy to report that I have done nicely this cold and flu season.  Several times I thought something was about to attack me and then it quickly disappeared.  Last week I woke up with a little sore throat and thought, "This time I am going to get it."  Steve told me, "Just say 'no' to it."  That made sense so I did and fortunately nothing panned out.  I am in the clear again.  I haven't had a cold or anything all winter.  I don't get flu shots.  The only thing I can think of is that my diet is really clean and it is keeping me strong.   Or, it could be that now that I have mentioned not getting sick, I will be sick tomorrow.  Let's hope not.     

The Foods We Eat DO Make a Difference

"Gorillas Going Green" -  In an effort to help captive gorillas suffering from heart disease, researchers took the gorillas off a processed diet and instead gave them natural foods like romaine lettuce, dandelion greens, endives, alfalfa, green beans, flax seeds, and even tree branches which they strip of bark and leaves.  Not only did the gorillas lose 65 pounds each, it also changed their behaviors.  Hmmm...I wonder what a diet free of processed foods would do for humans? 

My favorite quote from the article is "And, we're just recognizing that surviving on a diet and being healthy on a diet are different. We've raised our standards and are asking, are they in the best condition to not only survive but to thrive?"

I think we can learn much from this video and article.

Speaking of good foods, check out my friend Kate's new blog KateAlice Cookbook.   Kate shares some similiarities with me:  1) We both have autoimmune diseases.  2)  We both believe that diet has a lot to do with the inflammation in our bodies.   3) Although our overall diets are different, we both follow a "grain free" diet and have found wonderful benefits by eliminating this food group.  No matter what your diet choices, I think you will love the photos, writing, and recipe ideas she has to offer.  Since she is new to the blogging community, you might also want to leave a comment and welcome her!

The foods we eat DO make a difference.

Rheumatoid Arthritis, Feet Pain and Barefoot Walking

I have mentioned on my blog many times that there is a direct connection between my digestive issues and joint pain.  I have had some digestive issues return lately and as they slowly made their way back into my life, the pain in my feet returned and bending my fingers became more difficult.  The pain in my joints was at its worse when my digestive issues were at their worse.  This week, I have made some changes that have improved my digestion and guess what?  The pain in my feet is almost gone and my fingers are bending with more ease.  Amazing.

By Friday of last week my feet hurt so bad I didn't want to leave the house because that meant putting shoes on my feet.  Even my Dansko clogs which usually are my best friend sent a shooting pain up the balls of my feet and into each toe.  I decided to give my feet a break over the weekend and not wear shoes.  No shoes, no pain.  When I did have to go out, I put my Vibram KSO Treks on and wore them out.  This was the first weekend since Christmas, when I received my Vibrams, that I felt it was warm enough to wear them outside. (I have been working out in them at home.)  Wow!  They make a huge difference.  Although the hammertoes on my right foot struggle to make their way into each individual toe, the left foot goes right in and feels wonderful once it is on.   Merrell has a new barefoot shoe out that I would LOVE to try since I wouldn't have to fit each toe into its own space, but spending another $100 on a pair of shoes isn't going to happen anytime soon. 

Yesterday morning I started reading The Barefoot Book: 50 Great Reasons to Kick Off Your Shoes by Daniel Howell, M.D.  I love it!  I keep thinking about the following statement that I read on page three, "Encased within shoes whenever we exercise, our feet miss out on the action; while the rest of our body gets a workout, our feet are unable to flex, twist, grasp, feel or breathe.  The stench of the sneaker and the itch of athlete's foot are just two ways our feet are trying to tell us something is wrong.  Modern research supports their often ignored cries, however, and the evidence is clear: Barefoot walking is essential to healthy feet and the constant use of shoes is harming us."

Eggs

I buy 14 dozen eggs once a month when I pick up my order from the farmer we have been using for about eight years now.  Pick up is on Monday and we are out of eggs.  I made a quick trip to Whole Foods yesterday to buy a dozen until Monday.  As I looked through the selection of eggs, I noticed the poster above and felt nauseous.  My immediate thoughts were, "How sad that we have to be told that the hens have continuous access to food and water because that means a large number are not.  Also, they 'may' engage in natural behaviors like walking, nesting, and spreading their wings?  That truly makes me sad. What about sunlight?"  I am guessing since it isn't mentioned that they don't have access to sunlight.  I just couldn't purchase the eggs.  I have seen lots of information about how chickens are maintained which is one of the many reasons we purchase from farmers we know and trust, but seeing this notice just left me feeling sad for the animals that "may" not ever experience simple things like walking, nesting or even spreading their wings.  It just isn't right.  I feel like there are a lot of places my money can go, but good quality food is a number one place for me.

Slowing Down and Enjoying the Moment

Izzy makes herself a pillow out of our grocery bags.

Slowing down is good.  Enjoying the moment we are in right now is even better.  I was given a very special gift four years ago when Izzy, our border collie, became part of our family.  Each and every day she pulls me away from the craziness of life and into a few moments of pure calm and happiness. 

She has always been my napping partner, but lately when I lay down, I wake up and find her head resting on my shoulder. 

My napping partner.  I love that she is so snuggly. 

The kids say that after I leave for work in the morning, she runs upstairs and lays in my spot on the bed.  I do notice the bed is unmade when I get home even though I made it before leaving.  :)  When she was younger, she would sit by the window waiting for me to return home.

Steve laughed the other day at how she "talks" to me.  He said, "This is definitely something she has developed over the years."  It is true.  She only uses it with me.  Her "talk" involves chomping her teeth together when she is trying to tell me something.  She comes to me for everything - to tell Steve to play with her, to go outside, when she wants food, when the kids are up too late making noise, etc.

She knows when it is nighttime and if she needs to go outside, she quietly tells me. She is respectful of our sleep, but once our alarm goes off, she makes sure we get up, even if she goes right back to bed.  Even on the weekend if I am not up by 6:30, I have to tell her it is okay for me to sleep in, otherwise she wants to make sure I am up.  She likes jumping back into bed with me knowing she took care of her job.

She needs to be busy and constantly watches out our front window. She isn't a fan of other dogs walking by our house and gets quite upset with UPS trucks, mail carriers, garbage trucks, and school buses.  Where her barking once scared them, they all just smile and wave at me now.  One UPS driver said, "Don't worry. She is good.  She wants to protect you." 

I love pulling up in the driveway knowing Izzy will greet us after any time away from home.

As my body has grown stronger over the last several months, I have been able to play with Izzy more frequently.  She now comes to me with a ball in her mouth or her tug toy.  I love playing with her. 

How can I resist her? 

Last week we ended up with about 20 inches of snow.  While we were shoveling the driveway, I took a short break and walked Izzy around on her leash.  She walked straight over to where the sidewalk should be, turned and started her walk.  She wasn't about to let the piles of snow stop her from her daily walk.  I felt bad for her but I wasn't about to walk in 20 inches of snow for a walk.  She had to wait until the driveway was shoveled and then we took her out for a walk on the street.  It drove her a little crazy. She kept trying to get back on the sidewalk.  She is such a creature of habit.  

After Alexander shoveled the back porch and we were able to open the door, I let Izzy out.  She quickly had me laughing out loud hollering for everyone in the house to come look at her as she ran back and forth from one side of the yard to the other making a path for herself.  This line is exactly where she goes to potty.  I had to laugh later in the night when she was outside barking.  I called her in and she followed that path exactly, making a sharp left turn on the path she made towards the house.  Except for the path she has created for herself, the snow in our back yard has been barely touched.   
 

Her running looked more like hopping.

Her job was complete. 


Everyone comes into our lives for a reason.  As a border collie, Izzy comes with a lot of energy and obsessive traits along with a calm and loving personality.   Many of her traits have challenged me to learn more patience and many require absolutely nothing except stopping and enjoying the moment.  

New Arthritis Informational Site

Last week I received an email from Jim at eArthritisHealth, who has an informational arthritis site in beta. He asked if I would take a look at it and give some feedback as to what I believe makes a good informational arthritis site. Jim says, “We have aggressive plans to make this site not only the source for the best information on arthritis, but also the best place for people to go at any stage of their condition. Our articles are written by health professionals and peer-reviewed in order to give the utmost credibility to the information we provide. Our plans for the site include adding sections to help people figure out what type of arthritis they have based on the location and symptoms present, a discussion forum, and listings of medical specialists across the country (and world) who treat forms of arthritis. “

Honestly, I don’t feel like I am a great choice for this job because I tend to dislike informational arthritis sites. I rarely visit them because they leave me with a feeling of complete loss of hope. I need to feel like I have control over my disease which is why I continue following a clean diet and read/experiment with alternative methods that have worked well for others, while taking my drugs of course. But, I did try hard to look through the site and give the best feedback possible.

Pros:

• Lots of good videos that would provide good information for someone new to arthritis.

• I like how they broke up the videos into individual body parts.

• Videos of rheumatoid arthritis do show faces of younger people.

• I like that there are photos of the authors. For some reason I like to put a face with the person who has written what I am reading.

• Although there isn’t a discussion forum yet, that is something I might possibly use for specific questions I have for other rheumatoid arthritis folks.

• The site is easy to use.

Cons:

• When I clicked on the site I was immediately turned off by the photo and almost clicked out. Photos of arthritis still freak me out even after seven years of dealing with this and I don’t understand why we have to be bombarded with these photos on websites, doctor’s offices and pamphlets. I believe I have come to terms with the fact that I will have some deformities, but seeing photos like these still make me hyperventilate. If I wasn’t looking at the site for specific reasons, I would have left immediately. (Later in the day Sophia came up behind me at the computer and said, “Eeewwww…..what are you doing on that site? You don’t usually look at sites with pictures like that.” She knows me so well.)

• This isn’t a site I find useful to me now. What I am looking for now are stories from people that are living with rheumatoid arthritis as I find this more beneficial to me than the same old research. There is only so much information available on rheumatoid arthritis so it all sounds the same.

• There are not enough photos of people. I would like to see more photos of people in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s shown. Maybe there could even be photos of people smiling. We do smile, right?

• Although a few alternative choices are mentioned in the glossary, I don’t see them discussed in the articles. Maybe that will come with time.

• In “rheumatoid arthritis treatment”, medication and exercise are the only areas of treatment explored. Meds are helping me a lot, but I don’t believe for one minute that diet, stress relief, positive thinking, etc don’t make a huge difference.

Check out the site if you have time and leave feedback here. Jim seems like a great guy and I am sure he would appreciate any feedback you have so he can make this the best site possible.