Discovering and Embracing Our Individual Gifts

“According to this law [the law of Dharma], you have a unique talent and a unique way of expressing it. There is something that you can do better than anyone else in the whole world--and for every unique talent and unique expression of that talent, there are also unique needs. When these needs are matched with the creative expression of your talent, that is the spark that creates affluence. Expressing your talents to fulfill needs creates unlimited wealth and abundance.” 

― Deepak Chopra

After each class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, a middle aged Cambodian student tells me that she "thanks the Lord every class for her teacher's patience."  She always tells me that I have a gift.  It is true. I have been given the gift of patience. It is a theme I see over and over on evaluations by my students and I think something that has made me successful as a teacher.  I also believe this is why I enjoy teaching so much - I am using the gifts that I was meant to share.

Over the last few years I have been thinking about individual gifts more and more.  I think the idea of individual gifts was first placed in my mind after reading The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success for Parents  where Deepak Chopra said something along the lines of "our most important job as a parent is to help our children discover their individual gifts to this world."   Thinking of each person with individual gifts has not only  opened my mind to looking at what each person brings to this world, but also to take a good look at myself. It has made me appreciate my own gifts rather than focus on the gifts I wasn't given.

Sometimes though, when I surround myself with awesome people, I forget what my individual gifts and talents are and concentrate more on their strengths because I am in such awe of the things they can accomplish.  While I think admiring others gifts is entirely what we are supposed to do, I realize that I sometimes let the balance tip to one side where I neglect to see my own place.  This is when I know I need to take a step back and look at my life as a whole and see where my gifts are planting their seeds.  I did this yesterday.  I took a step back and realized how much is actually going on around me right now.  It is a lot. My gifts are definitely presenting themselves, but at times I am not acknowledging where these gifts are being most shared or even where they are being least shared.

Right now my mom is in Pakistan.  She is teaching parish nursing classes for 30 days. I have to say that I have never been more proud of my mom.  She is in her early 70's, has severe fibromyalgia, Type II diabetes, and  some other health concerns. Yet, she put all of this aside because sharing her gifts with the world was stronger than any health concerns.  I am proud of my mom because she has made this amazing trip but most of all I am proud of her because she fully understands the gifts she has been given and embraces them.  She made a connection with a fellow parish nurse and knew that she was the right person for this job.  From her emails, it sounds like she was right. She had over 100 students and starts a new class today.

Each day I ask that I may share my individual gifts with the world and also acknowledge and encourage the gifts of those around me.  Some days I am successful and other days not. I know this will be a forever challenge, but with each step I get closer to seeing those gifts in myself and others, the more I grow.  We are each here for a reason, no matter what else is going on in our lives.

Here are a few examples from my week:

• My reading class gave presentations last Thursday. One of my students was a teacher in Puerto Rico. She always uses Powerpoint for her presentations. This time around she brought her laptop in and had groups working on it and my computer as she taught them how to use Powerpoint.  When I thanked her for this she smiled and said, "I just love helping people."  A true example of how when we share our gifts, our own needs are met. 
• Saturday night I went with my husband to band practice and hung out with the other wives.  My husband and I don't spend near enough time with other couples.  I sometimes forget how funny he is.  It is a true gift that when I recognize it again, it fills me with pride. 
• My fellow Show Us Your Hands! friends have tremendous gifts in organization, creativity, and punctuation skills among many others.  Their gifts are often very different than mine but I always learn from them and feel amazed at their capabilities.  I also appreciate that they respect and love me for my gifts. 
• Although I sometimes wish my gifts came out stronger when helping my family with their own issues, I know that is where my gifts are strong right now. I know I need to be gentler with myself and focus on what I am contributing rather than what I am not.  By sharing my gifts I know my own needs will be met.  

No matter what is going on in our lives, our gifts are always there and always ready to be shared.  I hope that today allows you a chance to see your own gifts and to cherish them.

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's My Pleasure

In the midst of trying to eliminate time away from home, I was offered a summer teaching assignment at a community college I have been trying to get into for several years.  After discussing it with my family, we decided that taking the assignment was a good idea even though it means I am away from home every Saturday and Sunday morning throughout the summer.  Long term it will allow for hours that will work best for my family's schedule.

I have to admit that I have loved this assignment.  I have been teaching adult ESL (English as a Second Language) for 12 years and this is one of the most interesting groups of students I have ever taught.  First of all, most of the students are 50 years or older and they come from a variety of countries: Vietnam, Albania, Russia, Pakistan, India, Mexico, and China.  I have two married couples which is always fun. Along with being the most diverse in countries and the oldest group I have ever taught, this group is also the lowest in their English proficiency skills.

One of the amazing things about this group of students is their ability to work cooperatively.  One self made group  consists of women from China, Vietnam, and Russia.  Watching them explain assignments together is unbelievable.  They struggle, they laugh, and they work it out - often doing a better job of teaching the content than me.  They speak very little English but keep a watchful eye out for each other and are very generous with the knowledge they do have.  Giving exams is not easy because they really want to help each other and tend to let their partner know if they have made a mistake.  I just love how my student from Albania sits alone at his table until he sees his friend from Vietnam show up and immediately his eyes light up and they start talking.  What they talk about I have no idea, but they often have their translators out and find pictures in their books to get their messages across.  Plus, they are both very proud of their drivers licenses and often have them out showing them off since they are fairly new!

As my students pack up their books to leave for the day I always thank them for coming to class.  They always respond back, "No Teacher, thank you."  (Gratitude from my students is a nice bonus that comes with my job!)  What I have started saying to my students is, "It's my pleasure."  I said this one day out of the blue because I truly feel that way.  I was pleasantly surprised at how happy a few of the students who understood "pleasure" looked when I said it.  I think it is important to know that the person who is motivating you wants to be there.  I certainly do.  I love my job and I feel thankful each semester that I am given another chance to work with such beautiful people.

Change is Good

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.
Anatole France

Last summer I had experienced almost one year of feeling physically good.  The relief from constant pain and stiffness in my joints allowed me to take a good look at my life.  What I saw was that my kids and I weren't moving forward as I had hoped we would on our homeschooling journey and in some of our friendships.  In fact, I felt our current situation was draining us and preventing us from moving forward. I knew that I now had the energy to make some changes, but the changes would be hard.

Anytime we leave friendships, groups, and responsibilities that have been a part of our lives for a long period of time, it is difficult, even if you know they are no longer nourishing who you are and who you want to become. By moving forward I knew I would lose some of the friendships I had truly enjoyed years earlier.  I knew I would be leaving a group that had given us so much in the past and that the three of us loved having a part in creating, but that no longer served our needs.  I knew that moving forward would mean I didn't know what lay ahead for us and that was the scary part for all three of us.

Out of desperation for change, I made the decision, with the help of my kids and husband to move forward and away from the friendships, groups, and responsibilities we had held dear to us for many years.  I also stood up for myself at a school I didn't like teaching at and was not asked back in January.  I could no longer breath in these situations.  They were holding me down and not allowing me to move forward and find the next path I was meant to follow.  They were not allowing me to find the new ME. I felt scared not knowing where this path was going to take my kids or me but I knew it had to happen.  Luckily, my kids did too.  

I experienced a couple of lonely months trying to figure out where I belonged and how I was to find my next life path.   Despite the loneliness, I knew I had made the right choice. A heaviness I had felt for some time felt lifted from my body and my heart. I knew that I had to let go of my past in order to allow new things to come into my life.  

The last few weeks have been extremely busy for me and I sometimes find it hard to catch my breath.  I am trying to find the balance of how to include all the good that has come my way since leaving my past behind.

• To replace the income lost from the school I was not asked back to, I began private tutoring while continuing to teach two classes at the community college where I have been for over ten years.  I love it!!!  It feels like I am finally helping my students in a way that I could never do in the classroom.  I have time to invest in lessons that are very individualized and the results are amazing. 
• I was asked to be a board member for Show Us Your Hands!  This project and the people involved bring so much positive to my life.  
• My family is moving ahead and finding their own paths.  My husband became manager of his group about six months ago and he is finding his own strengths and strengthening his weaknesses.  He has a very unique way about himself and it gives me pride to see him succeed by being who he is.  Sophia has decided to go to high school next year which means the end of her homeschooling experience.  I am excited for her.  Her education has always been in her hands and this is 100% her decision.  Alexander is considering part-time high school but only if it works within his terms.  I love that he knows he has options.  Both kids are busy finding out who they are as teenagers and while it can sometimes be exhausting for me, it is also amazingly exciting.  I sometimes feel helpless not knowing how to help them find their path but I also know that they will.  They are such great kids.  I don't know how I got so lucky having the two of them.  
• I have been asked to participate in a couple of other adventures that I am considering down the line and I have other ideas that I want to explore professionally, when I have time.  Also, I have an idea for a book that I would love to dive into, but now isn't the time because really, I have no time.

I have always been a positive person.  It seems to be my nature.  I like to see the sunny side of life and it has benefited me well.  I struggled for a long time knowing that I was in several situations that no longer nourished me but not knowing how to get out of them.  Finally letting go has opened up so much space in my life for what I need now.  The new experiences and challenges are the ME now and it feels right.  Life feels good.  

 

Back to School As a Teacher Diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis

Starting back to school as a teacher diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis always comes with some apprehension.  As a teacher, I am on stage for four to five hours at a time and all attention is on ME.   If I show signs of rheumatoid arthritis through limping or not being able to lift a classroom book without trouble, I get questions from my concerned students.  To read more visit my contributing post at  MyRACentral.

Unschooling My Job

I have never had a passion for grammar. In fact, I find it extremely boring. I felt the same way when I was in school and remember dreading the times we would study grammar exclusively. As a 5th grade teacher I never taught grammar on its own, but instead took problem areas my students were facing in their writing and focused on those issues instead in mini lessons. I now teach English to adult students from all over the world who are learning English. For the past ten years when I have taught grammar to adults, it has only been a portion of what I teach, so I haven't minded because I love teaching conversation, writing, and listening. However, in October I added a teaching position to my resume at a new school. At this school I am exclusively the grammar teacher. My students come to me for grammar and go to another teacher for projects.

The first few months I felt very frustrated because the students at this school are also at a higher English level than the students at my first school which meant I needed to know more grammar rules than I previously knew. I didn't feel like I was doing a good job teaching and felt awkward. Then it hit me. It isn't about me knowing everything about grammar because I will never be one to remember the rules. It doesn't fit my personality at all. Some people love rules, not me. What I decided to do was use the same philosophy of learning on my students as I do with my kids - if you want to learn this, than do it!  I will help guide you, but really, it is up to you. I started putting students in groups and they had to figure out the grammar lesson for the day and then report back to the class on their findings. They loved it! They asked questions here and there but overall they were perfectly fine working in groups and figuring out what they needed to learn. In fact, I think they may learn it better when working together and they have fun at the same time. Who wants to sit and listen to me talk at the board all evening? Yuck!  The other benefit I found from allowing them to work in groups is I could access quicker what they already knew so we didn't need to spend a ton of time on that piece of grammar.  We could move on or stay longer on if needed.

My recent experience as a teacher has reminded me of a couple of good things I have learned through unschooling my own kids. First, if we really want to learn something, we will. Second, I finally understand my learning style and although some people thrive on knowing all the rules to grammar, I will never be that person. Why keep trying to be something I am not? This has been the number one lesson I have learned by unschooling my kids.  Third, I can only be the type of person I am and when I follow who I am rather than try to fit the mold of what others do (generally grammar is more lecture than experimentation and I have never been that type of teacher) things turn out exactly the way they should.

I find that although I still don't love grammar, I have found a comfortable place for myself. At midterm the student evaluations of me were really high which tells me they like the way I am doing things. Finding my comfort zone makes going to work that much easier and that much more enjoyable.

When people ask me about unschooling, I often say we follow a child led education learning from life. In this situation, that is exactly what I did. Unschooling doesn't just exist within the confines of our home or just for my children. We are all constantly learning and constantly trying to figure out the best route for our unique personalities. I am glad I unschooled my way through this situation

Part of the Crowd

One thing I really like about myself is that I generally follow my heart.  If something feels right, I do it.  If it doesn't, I don't.  The reason I like this about myself is because as a teen and young adult I often felt like I made decisions based on what others would think of me.  I never felt like I was being true to myself.  Now, I am often following paths that many people don't understand.  The disadvantage of following my heart is that it often leaves me feeling alone, which for an introvert like me, isn't exactly the worst thing. 

Yesterday I attended an ESL workshop with a group of my peers.  I knew lunch was going to be served so as I always do in these situations, I prepared my own lunch.  For many people, this seems to be a little extreme to reheat food from the previous night and throw it into a thermos so you don't feel sick to your stomach from eating foods that don't agree with you.  Many comments were made (as they often are when I pull out my thermos and reject the pizza, lasagna or other foods loaded with foods I don't eat) at lunch time about me bringing my own food.  Over the years, I have gotten used to being the oddball and it doesn't really bother me or make me feel like I need to hide in a corner and eat.  Besides that, the group was making me laugh so hard that it didn't matter what they thought about me bringing my own lunch.  Saying all of that, it is on occasion nice to be part of the group and connect with them 100%. 

After lunch, we had two hours of workshops left.  As I headed out of the restroom, one of my peers had her personal items and was heading out the door.  She reminded me that since there was a screw up, our professional hours would not be available to us immediately after the workshop.  Instead, we would receive them through email.  I was tired, but I still planned to head back in for the remainder of my time.  Then, I ran into another peer with her personal belongings.  She too reminded me that hours were coming through email.  She said, "Go grab your coat and let's go."  Suddenly I felt connected.  As a high schooler, I loved "jipping" school and her invitation to leave suddenly left me feeling like I was 16 years old.  I worried they might take attendance at the end and I would lose my credit hours and get in trouble with the two schools I teach for  who are expecting these hours, but I didn't care.  Suddenly the thought of skipping out and being a part of the group was too tempting.  I ran into the classroom, grabbed my personal belongings and met up with my peer.  We talked a few minutes and then we were both in our own cars going our own directions again.  Now, I am keeping my fingers crossed that those hours come through.  :) 

Regrets About My Degree? No Way!

Yesterday Sophia asked me, "Do you ever have regrets that you went to college for education?"  My immediate response was, "No."  She went on, "You never wish you had done something else or wondered about what another job would be like?"  Again my answer was "No."

When I set out for college at 18 years old I knew I wanted to be an elementary teacher.  I totally absorbed myself in my education classes and couldn't wait to have a classroom of my own.  For five years I taught fifth grade full time and then for two years I taught part time (Alexander was born and Steve and I had opposite schedules so one of us could be with him) in elementary and middle school teaching ESL.  I loved it.  Everyday was different.

I took a break from teaching when Sophia was born and we moved from Kansas to Illinois.  For the last nine years I have been teaching adult ESL part-time and I have to say it is by far my favorite age of students.  I love creating lessons, delivering lessons, and interacting with students who realize it is a privilege to be educated.  I love that with adults I can do what I love without having to deal with potty breaks, discipline, or a strict curriculum.  My job has always felt more like a hobby to me!  It feels like me. 

At the end of every quad we have a party to celebrate the hard work the students have accomplished.  As my morning class was planning the party on Tuesday, I volunteered to bring something.  One of my students said, "No teacher, this is a celebration of YOU."  Wow!  That really warmed my heart.  While I have been thinking we were celebrating them, they were thinking we were celebrating what I gave to them.  Oh my, the food was incredible.  We had the most delicious seasoned pork, Puerto rican rice, tamales, a shrimp salad, jellos, and lots of flan. (Yes, all diet restrictions are ignored for these parties.  I am not about to reject these gifts from my students.)

As each student left yesterday, I was received with hugs from each and every one of them along with a "Thank you Teacher."  From some I also received, "I love you Teacher."  I also received other gifts (gift card, candy, homemade flan, candle) and nice cards.  Many of them asked if there was any chance I could move up with them next semester.  I have done that on a few occasions, but over the years I have learned that each new set of students quickly becomes my favorites so I might as well start enjoying them. 

My answer to Sophia is a solid answer.  I love what I do!  When I teach my students, I leave each and every class feeling that as much as I gave, I received that much more.  Saying that, this semester has been exhausting. I took on an additional ten hours of teaching this quad and I am looking forward to a month long vacation.  My family has missed me and I feel the same way.  January 18 will be here soon enough and again I will be ready to meet all the wonderful loving people out there who work so hard to learn English while also maintaining jobs and families.   

  

Living Simply Brings Happiness

One morning early last week I was walking Izzy when I realized that with each step I took, there was a little hop.  I felt almost like I was as light as a feather hoping along our walking path with a great big smile that came from nowhere.  The next day it was the same.  The day after the same again.  This wonderful  feeling stayed with me all day as I traveled to work, to the grocery store, as I cooked, as I cleaned the house, to homeschool group, and back to work. Even at the end of the day I realized I was still smiling.  What I was experiencing  was a feeling of complete happiness.

My schedule has been busier the last month than ever before.  When I get home at night, I can't wait to jump into bed and fall asleep.  Yet, I feel happier than I can ever remember.  Why?  My guess is that even though  my hands are extremely full right now, I have simplified my life to include the things that really mean the very most to me. 

• Work:  I am working a lot of hours (for me anyhow).  But I love my two jobs!  Both jobs are as adjunct faculty teaching adult English as a Second Language and although I get paid for my job, I leave each class feeling like I have given something to my students and they have given something to me.  They each leave class saying, "Thank you Teacher."  One day we had about ten minutes left of class time so I stood at the door and asked each one of them a different question as they left.  The next day they wanted it again.  Teaching makes me feel creative and dramatic.  Getting up in front of a classroom of limited English speakers requires me to come outside of my usual quiet personality into a personality of drama and fun.  I love being this other person!    
• Food:  I am eating very simply.  I am purchasing my meat (beef, chicken, pork, lamb, and eggs) from a farmer that has been providing for us for eight years now.  We have seen his family go through some ups and downs, but they have always been there for us.  I like having this relationship with the people that provide the foods I eat.  We are eating veggies that are organic (and local if possible).    That's about it. We add some good fats to our foods and the kids eat some fruits. Very simple, yet delicious.  My body is responding well to these foods.  It doesn't overeat because without the grains (even gluten free) my body knows when it is full and it listens.  
• Sleep: I am not getting as much sleep as I have in the past, but I make it a priority to get to bed as early as I can.  My body likes that I am caring for it this way.  Sleep is so important in healing.
• Responsibilities:  I took a close look at the list of things I am responsible for and got rid of the ones that weren't nourishing my family and me anymore.  I am so proud of myself!  People have taken over and done such an amazing job!  It is nice to think we have to do it all ourselves, but really, we don't.  We just have to give up the control and realize things will go in the direction they were meant to go.  I am also saying "no" to things that add stress to my life, even if it means disappointing people.
• Exercise:  I am exercising more than I have in years.  Each morning I get up with Steve and we work out together.  This time is probably the one thing that has made a huge difference in how I feel.  I love having time together in the morning to see each other grow stronger, to laugh, and to give little hugs during breaks. When schedules get busy it is very easy for couples to slip into conversations that focus only on the necessary day to day things.  I am glad we have carved this time out together.  Afterwards, I take Izzy for a walk where I get to experience the gifts that nature gives each day: cold, rain, wind, and heat.  It sets the stage for the rest of the day physically and mentally.
• Family:  Even though my schedule has been really busy, I have found new pockets of time to spend individually with each member of my family that wasn't planned.  With me being away from home more, they each need that one on one time with me to reconnect.  I need it too.
• Friends:  I have been connecting with a few friends that I have known for many years on a whole new level.  I like knowing more about them and that I get to share me with them.   
• Rheumatoid arthritis:  RA is taking a backseat in my life right now.  It sneaks in every week with a new nodule in the wrist, swollen wrist and fingers, or a limp caused by swelling in the knee.  But, overall, it is allowing me this time to experience true happiness.  Thanks RA! 

There have been times when life brings events that get me down and at my worst with rheumatoid arthritis I have felt some depression, but overall I am usually happy.  What I am experiencing now is a whole new level of happiness. I feel it radiating from me. I have focused on the simplest things that give us nourishment and energy: food, sleep, exercise and family/community.  I have llet the other things go to the sidelines. I have been searching for many years for new "alternative" types of medicine, but what makes me feel the happiest and most content is just the very simple things in life. 

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.  I am so thankful that you read my thoughts here on my blog and that many of you share comments with me.  I love reading them.    

"Experiences Over Possessions"

My birthday was last Friday. As my birthday got closer, the kids asked what I wanted for my birthday and one day after a walk I made a list of three or four things that I would like to have as gifts. I felt good about the list I made as they were all wants, but also needs. I don't mind those kind of gifts at all. I thought all was settled and I would be able to pass my list along and see what happened.  Then I remembered a philosophy that my friend Hannah often shares on her blog. She says, "I have always valued experiences over possessions." I love reading her blog because she does have wonderful experiences and I have always admired her philosophy. I don't think I have ever been a person that is all about possessions, although of course I do like some of them, but I have never really concentrated enough on the experiences. Sure, my kids are unschoolers which is based upon the idea of the experiences of life being their teacher, but I often put worry with my own personal experiences. Will we have enough money? Is the money used worth the experience? Is it taking away from what others want?

After thinking on what I really want for my birthday, I decided that I want the experience over the possession. So instead of a list of "birthday wants", I told my family I want a day with them either bike riding in a new area (Steve has a place in Wisconsin he wants to take us now that I am riding again) or hiking at Starved Rock so Izzy could join us. Also, I asked that if they really want to give me something, I would prefer homemade cards or gifts. The decision to not have any purchased gifts came from a discussion that Sophia and I had a few weeks back. We talked about how when we think back to the previous year, we often can't remember a lot of the gifts we received for Christmas or birthdays. However, the gifts made by others that we have in our house are always treasured. Alexander and Sophia have always been great at making gifts for me and they always come with fond memories.

After a super busy day on Friday and again on Saturday, we headed to Starved Rock on Sunday.  When we arrived, the experience I had in my head was different than the one I was experiencing in real life.  In July, we went to Starved Rock with my sister and her boys and the day was relaxed with few people.  Of course, it was a humid summer weekday rather than a perfect fall Sunday.  There were TONS of people at Starved Rock.  At first, I felt overwhelmed.  We brought Izzy with us as I had planned to do. The paths are narrow and she easily gets excited by other dogs and people.  I wondered if we should go home and prevent a stressful day. 

We stayed.  Steve volunteered to walk Izzy and keep her close. She did such a great job.  She tends to try to walk next to me no matter who is walking her.  She was so cute.  If I was ahead of her, she would pull hard on the leash to catch up with me .  If I was behind her, she kept stopping to make sure I was still there.  She is a ":momma's girl".  I like that about her.  She did a super job and seemed to enjoy all the new smells.

The day was nice.  I enjoyed the sunshine, nature, and mostly relaxing with my family.  It was a perfect gift. 

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Tuesday was the last day of classes for this quad.  One of the gals that always arrives before me was late to class.  When she arrived she had a big bouquet of flowers in her hands and everyone stood up and started singing “Happy Birthday” to me.  Then we had the usual last day celebration which means lots of homemade Mexican food!   After we finished the food they pulled out two big cakes from a bakery.  One was to eat in class and the other was to take home and share with my family.  They turned out the lights, lit a candle, and sang to me again.  Then they lined up and each one gave me a birthday hug.  They are so sweet!  I felt very special.  This experience is one that I won't forget easily.  

A special thanks to my mom and dad for bringing me into this world, providing lots of great experiences, and loving me for 43 years! 

Crazy Few Days

The last few days have been a bit crazy.  Here is some background information: I started a part-time tutoring job about two months ago.  I have been tutoring reading to a 15 year old teenage girl and a 10 year old girl.  I really enjoy both of them.  What I don't enjoy is that the tutoring sessions are two hours each.  Two hours for anyone is long, but especially for two girls that have been in school all day.  The first hour we do okay, but by the second hour they give up and tell me they can't do it or get extremely giggly.  I get it.  It feels wrong to me too.  But, I ran into a bigger problem than feeling worn down after two hours, I wasn't getting paid.  The company I worked for kept giving me excuses as to why they couldn't pay me.  So, feeling foolish for continuing on this long, I quit on Thursday morning.  They emailed and called asking me to reconsider, but there were too many holes in the stories.  Something wacky is going on and I don't feel like I need to be in the middle of it.  I feel good about my decision.  I did have a call yesterday from one of the moms to let me know how happy they were with me and how sad they were that I wouldn't be working with their daughter.  It is nice to feel appreciated.

Thursday night after dealing with this company all day and feeling wiped out, I finished teaching my adult ESL class and did a quick check of my emails from my iphone.  Guess what?  A job I applied for in the summer and have been busy gathering paperwork for was approved by the Illinois Board of Education.  I am going in this morning to sign the paperwork and I start Monday night.  How perfect is that?  It felt like my decision to quit couldn't have been better.

This will be the most hours I have worked since Alexander was born fourteen years ago.  I am still part time.  I will work my current job on Tuesdays and Thursdays with a total of 12 hours and then Monday and Wednesday nights with a total of ten hours.  Plus, I will have homeschooling stuff/family life during the day all week.  I am feeling a little overwhelmed.  But, I have some good things in my corner.  My health has improved a lot (minus my right foot that is reminding me that RA is still a part of me) plus Alexander and Sophia are about the two most responsible people in the world.  When I am at work on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, they take care of cleaning the kitchen, making lunches, dog sitting jobs they have and any other responsibilities while I am at work.  That way we can either go to homeschool group on Tuesdays or do "school" stuff on Thursdays between my work schedule.  Also, they have started making more dinners.  I just need to replace my crock pot now!  Knowing I have such responsible kids at home and a supportive husband will make this transition a lot smoother.

Overall, I am excited.  It will be a new experience for me.  I am looking forward to it.  I am also looking forward to working on some financial goals Steve and I have set for ourselves.  If we can reach these goals, wonderful new things will be in our future!

Appreciating Life

Last night the writing class I teach turned into a conversation class.  We spent most of the evening talking rather than writing.  (I am just going to consider it part of the prewriting stage.)  For some reason we got on the subject of accidents.  One student, a beautiful young gal in her early thirties told about a severe car accident that left her in physical therapy for over a year.  As she wrapped up the story she had a big smile, as she always does, and said it wasn't a bad thing because now she appreciates life so much more.

I just sat gazing at my student as she finished her story.  I wanted to totally absorb her attitude and make sure it had a permanent place in my memory.   I have experienced a rough couple of years with rheumatoid arthritis, and like my student, I feel it hasn't been a bad thing.  No matter what life throws at us, there is always good surrounding us.  There is always something new to look forward to. 

Enjoy your day!

Energized

Maya, this post is for you. Thank you so much for rejoicing in my recent "bragging" and even asking for more. You are a beautiful friend.

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The other day I jokingly said to the kids, "I feel like I am on drugs with all the energy I have." Alexander said, "Mom, you ARE on drugs." Oh yeah.

Life continues to be moving quickly for me. I have had some pain and stiffness in my toes and fingers the last few days, but they are minor to where I have been so I hate to even mention it when so many good things continue to be happening for me. But, these little pains remind me that even though I am basically feeling pre-RA, that it will always be a part of who I am and that someday soon it may come back to show its true strength.

But enough of that. This post is about bragging. This week I added an arm workout to my Pilate's DVD. Although I still can't do everything in the workout, I was able to accomplish more on Wednesday than Monday and more on Friday than Wednesday. When I work out I can tell that there is still a lot of inflammation in my wrists, ankles and knees. But, I am constantly doing more in my workouts and best of all I feel muscles returning!!!

I mentioned in an earlier post that I took on another part-time job. In addition to teaching adult ESL twelve hours a week, I will now be tutoring reading to middle school/high school students. I am working for a non-profit company and have spent several hours the last few Fridays in training. Luckily we have been able to do almost all of the training through SKYPE. Today I had my first client. I really like her and felt that we connected. Last year at this time I could barely make it back to my car after work I was in so much pain so it is exciting to be adding on work that I truly enjoy.

On Thursday, in addition to a full day of teaching (four hours in the morning and two hours at night) I fit in school work with Alexander, a trip to the library with Sophia and made muffins with the kids when I got home in the evening. Plus I made dinner! I was definitely tired at the end of the day, but I think anyone would be.

Sometimes during the day I feel like I am the Energizer Bunny and will never stop going. I have so much to accomplish and the energy to do it. However, I have to remind myself of how important it still is to stop and enjoy the simple things that surround me. (This is one of the important lessons I learned from having rheumatoid arthritis.) So, along with all bragging I have been doing the last few weeks, I want to stop and share some of the simple things that were part of my life this week.

• This week, it was a flower that slowed me down. Earlier in the summer Sophia planted several sunflower seeds in our front yard. Only one grew, but it faces right into our living room window and looks right at me while at I am at the computer. It is absolutely perfect! It reminds me of Kansas and my family, it reminds me to smile and look for beauty all around me, and it reminds me of the beauty that is in Sophia. Sometimes I look at that single sunflower standing out there all alone and realize how much it is like Sophia. Sophia is carving out a world that is her very own while always finding the positive in life. What a special little girl I have.
• Also this week, I took time to sit and talk with Sophia about a book she is currently reading that I read it when I was her age. I am going to reread it tonight.
• I love when Alexander shares what happened in his recent game of XBOX and when he tells me how excited he is about the midnight release of Halo REACH this Monday night. Steve will be going with him to the release and then will come back to play the game into the wee hours of the night. I couldn't ask for a better father for my kids.
• And best of all, I stopped to enjoy the hugs that my kids still continue to want and give throughout the day. Whoever said teenagers are difficult never met my two.

What “bragging” do you have for the week? Any simple things you stopped to enjoy?
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Summer Classes

Yesterday morning I met my summer students. They are beginning English students, all from Mexico and all new to me!

I have been teaching adult education for nine or ten years now and this summer our program is experiencing some changes. Due to LOTS of budget cuts and the need to spend all money by June 30, our eight week classes have been condensed to six weeks. I now teach an hour longer each class period - four hours, plus a Friday! I am teaching a beginner course in the morning and then for the first time as an adult educator, job sharing my evening class. I have to appreciate my ESL manager who had lots of last minute decisions to make and came up with the idea of job sharing to give us the maximum hours allowed. Plus, she placed me with a teacher that teaches very similar to me and so far, we have agreed on everything! How perfect is that?

When I first started teaching ESL (English as a Second Language), I always taught beginners and felt that was my strength and where I needed to be. However, I always told my manager that I was fine wherever she needed me. Eventually I was moved up to intermediate levels where I have been for several years and absolutely LOVE! So, when I received my summer assignment and realized I was back with beginners again, I felt a little disappointed. (Not unappreciative though. Several weeks back we didn't even think we were having a summer program, so I am happy to be teaching!)

The disappointment vanished in about five seconds of being back with a beginner group. I remembered all that I love about them. I love how they come into the room full of anxiety and excitement. I love that in this level I will have several students who speak English quite well but can't read or write and then others that can't speak, read, or write in English. It is all new to them. I like the challenge of the varied abilities.

About five minutes after class started a 19 year old male student had a peer tell me that this level was too difficult and he needed to be in a lower level. (We do offer literacy levels). I told him to give the class twenty minutes and he would be fine. Twenty minutes later when I checked back with him, he gave me a thumbs up that he was fine. I love the feeling of knowing I have made my students comfortable. I like that they know I am excited by their questions and encourage them to ask me anything. I think the next six weeks are going to be a lot of fun!

Busy! Busy! Busy!

This year I was able to spend Mother's Day with my own momma. The sad thing is all of us forgot it was even Mother's Day until Sunday morning when we thought about going out to eat. We were so busy focusing on Sophia's play. But, I enjoyed having my mom here celebrating in Sophia's special days. That in itself is a huge gift.


On Tuesday night we had 11 teens over to celebrate Alexander's 14th birthday. Let me just say that teens get a bad rap. These kids were so respectful and fun. They spent almost the entire time (4PM-1:30am and then again in the morning) sitting on our living room floor playing games. I am so thankful that my kids have these friends.

The rain did stop long enough we could go outside and make smores. Yummy!




Wednesday night Steve and I attended an ESL graduation for two of my favorite students/friends. Salvador and Kanya meet me every month for coffee. I just realized that we have been meeting for a year now. I have really enjoyed getting to know these two people outside of the classroom. They are both amazing.

On Thursday we completed this quad of classes with food and conversation. This class has been a lot of fun for two reasons. 1) I knew so many of these students from previous classes that our comfort level with each other was immediate. 2) This class was all women except for Juan. Our conversations definitely were different than with a mixed class. Summer classes start in a few weeks.

We have a busy weekend of A Little Princess shows. My niece is coming in tonight to see the show and sleeping over and then there are two shows tomorrow plus a cast party. Busy! Busy! Busy!

Much to Be Thankful For

On this Sunday morning I have much to be thankful for:

~Alexander will be 14 on Saturday. When I look at him, I am so impressed and amazed that I had a part in creating him.

~Since going off Arava on Wednesday, the pressure in my ribs has disappeared.

~In two short weeks Sophia's performances of "A Little Princess" begin. Her part in the play is small but the experiences she has gained already are huge!

~My amazingly creative sister Sherry is back to reading lots of books and sharing ideas with me.

~Steve has a gig tonight. I LOVE watching him perform.

~In two weeks my mom will be in Chicago for a short visit. She is flying in to see Sophia's play and because she loves us. Also, my brother Mike has a meeting in Chicago and will be able to see Sophia's show.

~In a little over a month I will be married for 22 years. I can't imagine my life without Steve. He makes me smile everyday and even on my worst RA days makes me feel like the most beautiful woman alive.

~Alexander and I watched Food, Inc. last week. Watching the film sent chills through my body but also gave me a greater appreciation for the food coop we belong to where we are able to buy free range meat and eggs from farmers we trust. Unfortunately, due to overwhelming harassment by the FDA, this coop can no longer provide fresh dairy to its members which makes me very sad.

~I have a job that I really like and works around the needs of my family.

~My dad used to sing to us when he woke us up in the morning. I do the same thing with my kids. I think of my dad every time I start singing my corny made-up songs.

~Alexander is teaching me about the Cuban Missile Crisis as he learns about it. Learning is so fun when you are taught by your children.

~Sophia often has strangers tell her that she has a beautiful smile. It is true. Like Alexander, I look at her and feel amazed that I helped create her.

~In July my sister Stacey and her boys are coming for a week long visit. I can't wait!

Some days are tough for me but each day I have these amazing things to wake up to. It is great being me!

Note: Once you start listing things that you are "thankful" for, the list becomes longer and longer. Give it a try. Leave a comment of something you are thankful for today.

An Amazing Week

I felt optimist going into this week and titled it my "Amazing Week" before the week even started - I just felt that confident in this week. Why you ask?

1. Although the decision to take a two month round of prednisone was hard, I feel very comfortable with my decision. I am happy to report that after one week it is starting to do its work. Honestly, I can't even put into words how much I needed this physical break.
2. This week I am on Spring Break from work and the weather is in the 60's with sun all week.

It is truly amazing how once you title a week "amazing" your mind focuses in on that message and even with a little disappointing news about my knee x-ray and work schedule this week, my mind has stayed in "amazing" mode and so far I have had an absolutely perfect week.

Besides physically feeling well, my "Amazing Week" was kicked off with Sophia participating in her first ever audition on Friday night. She will be performing in "A Little Princess" in May. She has wanted to audition with this theatre group for a year now and I kept saying, "I need to feel better first." I am glad we went ahead with this goal. I am so proud of her.

After Sophia's audition we headed over to a restaurant/pub where we met friends and listened to Steve perform. They asked him to return the next night at a different location and our friends came out again!


My sleep has been "amazing". For months now I have woke up time after time with extreme pain in my knee and shoulders. To wake up in the morning and realize I slept all night is pure joy.

I walked Izzy all by myself on Sunday!!!! Since October I have been unable to walk Izzy except for a few times. She is an energetic girl with lots of energy and strength. We have done tons of training with her, but she still pulls a lot. If you can imagine, this is not easy on ones shoulders and knee that are already in pain. But, I love walking her. It is one of my favorite things to do and it feels great to be back this week. Each morning the kids and I are taking her to a new park or forest preserve. These long walks with my kids and puppy are just what I needed. My cheeks are even red from the sun today. I LOVE it!










My "Amazing Week" is not over. We have another long walk planned for tomorrow and will even be taking Izzy's friend Bella with us. On Friday and Saturday we are attending the INHOME conference and staying in the hotel which is always fun. Sophia also starts rehearsals this weekend. It will be fun hanging out with friends all weekend, learning some new things, and relaxing. More photos of this "Amazing Week" coming.

Wrapping Up Another Quad

Yesterday was the last day of classes for this quad. We wrapped up our classes by reviewing the last exam, completing paperwork, and celebrating our hard work with food and good conversation.

Every Tuesday and Thursday morning for three hours I met with my morning group and then returned for another three hour class those same evenings. The personalities in these two classes were as different as can be.

I had thirty students in my morning class. They were very inquisitive and challenged me to be creative in my presentation. I enjoyed this challenge and looked forward to each class.

Unfortunately you can't see the beautiful necklace and earrings Olga gave me from Mexico. I already have plans to wear them to Steve's gig on Thursday.

The students in this class made lots of yummy food. We had food from Mexico, Korea and Iraq.



My evening class was smaller, only about twelve students and ten of those were men. Our evening party was quite different. Rather than homemade food we had pizza delivered and the desserts were purchased from bakeries and grocery stores.

Our eight weeks together were fun. We learned a lot about English and we learned a lot about each other and from each other. At the end of class my 68 year old Korean student who will be reviewing this level again reminded me that it isn't how quickly we move forward, but that we are moving forward. He wasn't upset that he will be returning to the same level because he said last year he couldn't read English and now he can. A good lesson for all of us.

People In My Life : Jesus

Thursday morning I introduced the topic of "Work" to my low level English as a Second Language students by discussing their jobs. Each person shared what they could about their jobs which was very interesting. When we got to Jesus he shared that he no longer works. He is retired. He moved to the United States from Mexico 42 years ago. For 36 years Jesus worked for the same company as a fork lift driver and then in the shipping department. Jesus shared that when he first started working the job he told his manager he was going to quit because he didn't know enough English to do the job. Luckily for Jesus, his manager had faith in him and sent him to classes that focused on the language necessary for his job. As Jesus spoke, I could see my younger students really focusing in on his story. They knew he had something important to share. He said his dream was to put his children through college. He showed pictures of all four of his children who not only graduated from college, but graduated from private colleges. Two of his children are now investigators, one is a lawyer and one an engineer. Jesus shared that he put in a lot of hours to make his dream come true - a lot of 12 hour/7 days a week to get there. When asked if his family suffered because of his long work weeks, he said they made the time together. Now that Jesus is retired and his dream of his children attending college is behind him, he is now focusing on himself. He said he now has the time to devote to learning English for himself. When he was finished speaking, the class applauded him.

42 Years Old Today!

Today is my 42nd birthday!!!!! With each birthday I feel lucky to be me. I am fortunate to have great friendships, a wonderful family, two children that I adore, a dog that makes me smile and a husband that still makes me as happy as the day I met him.

My life has been fairly mellow compared to many but I thought it would be fun to look at what it has held for me.

I am number four out of six children.
I grew up Catholic.
My godmother was an elderly woman named Agnes who I absolutely loved.
My older siblings were my role models.
My mom volunteered bussed us to a school outside of our neighborhood for elementary school.
I reached my full height by the time I was in third grade.
My grandparents owned a huge garden and treated us kids like real people. To this day I thank them for that experience.
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My first job was at 12 years old. I worked in a Stretch-N-Sew store.
I learned to drive at 14 with my dad. I loved those early Sunday mornings together.
The first time I got drunk I walked into the house without shoes on a snowy night.
I worked at Baskin Robbins and JCPenney through high school.
I don't believe I gave my parents much grief growing up. Really!
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I didn't enjoy high school. I was ready to start working.
I graduated half way through my senior year and starting working.
I graduated with my BS in Education in four years from a small Catholic college.
I am still in touch with one of my professors.
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I went to watch my sister Stacey skydive and ended up going myself and then calling Steve so he could do it too.
My house has been broken into once (we walked in on them) and my car once.
I once ran the Turkey Trot with my sister and came in the top three for my age. I think I was only 23.
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I have been married longer than I have been single.
I had two c-sections. (The birth can still be beautiful!)
I nursed for eight years.
I practice attachment parenting.
With each year I am a parent and wife, I appreciate my mom that much more.
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I worked in a doctor's office through college.
I worked in new homes for about two years. It wasn't my cup of tea but allowed me to make some extra money knowing Steve was home with the kids.
I taught 5th grade for five years and ESL to kids for two years.
I have taught ESL to adults for the last eight years but consider myself a stay at home mom.
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Steve brought flowers to my work once and left them in the car for me. I didn't even know he was there.
When we first started dating, my car broke down and Steve let me take his car. He rode the bus carrying his guitar and amp.
When picking me up, Steve has never once been late.
For our 15th anniversary Steve bought me a necklace and earrings. I lost one of the earrings but I wear the necklace almost daily.
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I am an introvert and need lots of alone time.
I love reading although I consider myself a poor reader.
Being a mother is the thing I am most proud of doing.
I love nights when we are all home snuggled up watching TV together.
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I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis in 2004.
I have been gluten free/dairy free since the end of 2004.
I have experienced remission and plan to experience it again.
I do believe our bodies can heal.
I have been off all medications since February, 2008.
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I am a spiritual, yet not religious person.
I love discussing unschooling, health, children, relationships, etc but don't like confrontations.
I tend to feel I need to "save" the underdog which often causes me to be in confrontations.
I like being me.

Thank you each for being a part of my life. Thanks to my friends and siblings who make me laugh and remind me of who I am. Thanks to my parents for giving me life, for loving me for so many years, and giving me the values as a child that have remained with me to this day.

People Are Nice

People really are nice. Yesterday I had two examples of people's niceness that made me feel good inside.

First, I entered my classroom at 8:30am greeted by a reusable cloth bag filled with a cup of tea and two apple pies from McDonald's. One of my students wanted to do something special for me. It was so sweet, especially since she remembered I drink tea and not coffee. One part of me felt this overwhelming feeling of graciousness to Marina for thinking about me on this cold morning and another part of me went into a complete panic - I couldn't eat anything she brought. Not only have we boycotted McDonald's for years but this did not fit into my diet at all and I have done so well sticking to only the foods on my list. I knew I couldn't eat it but needed to make it look as if I was. I gave Marina a big hug and let her know that I appreciated her thinking of me. The good feeling I felt yesterday that someone took the time to think of me stayed with me all day yesterday and is still with me today.

Second, last night at work our students had to fill out evaluations of their teachers so I switched classrooms with another teacher to do the evaluations. On my way out a young gal asked me if I color my hair. At first I thought, "Okay, here comes the comment about the gray highlights." But as we talked more I could tell she genuinely liked the color of my hair. Wow! I left her classroom and headed to break. While in the restroom I looked at myself and thought, "Your hair does look pretty good." As many of you know I stopped coloring my hair a while back and have been very pleased with the results!