Friday, January 21, 2011


Tonight I have a somewhat spontaneous date planned with my husband of 22 years. He has planned everything. My only responsibility is to make sure the kids have food for the evening and to make myself beautiful.

I woke up early this morning excitedly thinking through what I want to do to make myself beautiful for this evening. One of the things on my list was to paint my toenails. As I began the process of painting, I studied my toes. Despite the huge reduction in pain and inflammation recently, my toes are experiencing some physical changes and as with all change, I experienced a moment of panic. “Where are these changes taking me? How can I stop these changes? I’m scared.”

I took a deep breath and as quickly as the panic took over, I was able to focus that breathe back on my evening plans. All the panic and fear disappeared. In that one instance I knew that it didn’t matter what changes rheumatoid arthritis or even age have to throw at me because in the eyes of my husband, I am the most beautiful person alive.

My sister just sent me a text that says, “Isn’t it awesome to still be giddy about a date with your husband after all these years?” It is awesome. It is awesome to not just feel giddy, but to know that throughout all these years together we have developed something stronger than my heart could have ever imagined possible.