Visualization is Powerful

Last week my family and I were able to take a short trip to Kansas to visit my dad.  It was exactly what I needed.  I needed to hear his voice, hold his hand, and feel his hugs. 

As I spent time with my dad and went with him and my stepmom to his first radiation appointment, I saw where he and I are very alike.  Despite all the pain he is in, he doesn't give up hope.  In his mind he is imagining the pain gone and replaces it with strong images of himself out mowing not only his own lawn, but also his neighbor's lawn as he wants to help him out.  He visualizes himself doing some woodworking projects and other activities around the house.  He doesn't pity himself for being sick or thin.  He continues to be himself as much as possible.  He continues to make his family smile and he continues to think of other's before himself as he has always done.  He doesn't give pain the power to take over his very existence.

While he visualizes himself in a better place, he also isn't delusional about what is happening to him.  We went through the funeral arrangements and it was good for me to hear him and my stepmom talk about them. (By the way, my stepmom is amazing.  She too has strength that I admire beyond belief and has been a huge support system for my siblings and myself.)  He has put a lot of thought into the funeral arrangements and is accepting of what will eventually come.  That gives me comfort.  But for now, I too feel a renewed hope that his days will be more pleasant and less painful as he continues his radiation treatments. 

Thanks to everyone who has sent prayers and wonderful thoughts for both my dad and myself.  They are truly appreciated and still needed. 

Appreciating Life

Last night the writing class I teach turned into a conversation class.  We spent most of the evening talking rather than writing.  (I am just going to consider it part of the prewriting stage.)  For some reason we got on the subject of accidents.  One student, a beautiful young gal in her early thirties told about a severe car accident that left her in physical therapy for over a year.  As she wrapped up the story she had a big smile, as she always does, and said it wasn't a bad thing because now she appreciates life so much more.

I just sat gazing at my student as she finished her story.  I wanted to totally absorb her attitude and make sure it had a permanent place in my memory.   I have experienced a rough couple of years with rheumatoid arthritis, and like my student, I feel it hasn't been a bad thing.  No matter what life throws at us, there is always good surrounding us.  There is always something new to look forward to. 

Enjoy your day!

INHOME Conference 2010 - Conclusion of "Amazing Week"

After many long walks this week reconnecting with both nature and my body, we completed my "amazing week" inside attending an annual homeschooling conference in Illinois known as the INHOME Conference. Since the temperatures dropped from a sunny 65 on Friday to the low 30's with snow on Saturday, being inside sharing good times with friends was the perfect way to end this week.

I think the thing that would most surprise non-homeschoolers is how varied in lifestyles homeschoolers are from each other. We come from many different paths in life. Some homeschoolers are very conservative, while others top the liberal side. Homeschoolers vary on the religious spectrum from one end to the other. Not only do our life experiences vary, but our homeschooling philosophies can also be as different as night and day. But, whatever our philosophies about life, religion or educating our children, I love surrounding myself with other homeschoolers because what we do all have in common is a genuine love for our children and a strong desire to provide a way of life that we believe is the best path for our individual families.

The two days of conferences were devoted to classes and hanging out with friends.

Here Alexander learned how to make a flower out of duct tape.

I was able to get a quick photo of Alexander preparing for a NERF war with other teens.

Sophia and friends after face painting class.

The highlight of the conference for my family was the family dance. After a full day of participating in classes, it was great fun to watch our kids dance together in groups while the parents enjoyed good conversation and a few drinks.

Here the kids finished eating ice cream and were waiting for the teen dance to begin. It ended at midnight. This was my kids first year of attending the teen dance and they LOVED it!

Sophia and her friend Giselle decided to ditch a class on Saturday and go swimming instead. The indoor/outdoor pool was heated so they were swimming outside as the snow was coming down. Perfect!

Meeting up in between classes.

Steve and Alexander getting ready to attend a music workshop. Each child was to bring their instrument and music. The class was a huge success and afterwards the new band performed their song at the talent show. Here Alexander waits for his turn to perform.

I titled last week my "amazing week" and that is exactly what it was. I took full advantage of the gorgeous weather we had in Chicago and full advantage of the prednisone that is living in my body for now. I had a relaxing, fun time hanging out with friends. On Sunday I met with my original naturopath and immediately realized that although she is a drive, she is exactly the person I need to be working with on a regular basis. The energy and truthfullness she gives me is exactly what I need and meeting with her has given me a new sense of comfort.

Today starts a new week for me - an appointment with my primary care physician to discuss the results of my blood work and knee x-ray, plus a new reduced work schedule and a new class. It might not be an "amazing week", but sometimes after an amazing week you look forward to the calmness of the ordinary week. I hope your week is great!

People In My Life: Rocio and Alberto

Around six years ago or so I had the privilege of teaching a series of conversation classes rather than my usual classes which focus on reading, writing, and a little speaking. I LOVED teaching these classes because they were more relaxed and I was able to develop a close relationship with many of the students in these classes. In fact, after several of us had been together for a while, we had a party here at my house. The students planned everything and brought everything, including Coronas for Steve! It was a blast. After we ate the students moved all of our living room furniture out and began the music. Everyone danced, even me which doesn't happen often.

From that group of students I met a very special couple - Rocio and Alberto. We clicked right away. They are a married couple that is the same age as Steve and myself and have been married about as long and like us, they still really like being together. When they graduated from the ESL program they asked for me to attend. I was so proud of them. One year they invited us to Rocio's birthday party and although we were the only English speaking friends there, they made us feel very comfortable. In fact, I will never forget going to their house. They live in the basement of their sister's home with a small kitchen, one bedroom, one bath and a small living room which also serves as their son's bedroom. They took my family on a tour of their home and it was the most beautiful experience. I have been to so many homes of friends who apologize for it being dirty, not filled with furniture, under construction or numerous other complaints. I didn't hear one negative thing come from their mouth. They were proud of each and everything in their home. It was a good lesson for me to remind myself that we have so much.

Over the years we have kept in touch. As a family they have struggled. Alberto has not had a lot of luck finding jobs and for the last year and a half Rocio has been working full time at McDonald's during the day and then six nights a week cleaning an office. She leaves by six in the morning and is home by nine. I love her attitude. When I mentioned how much work that is she told me it was okay because at each job people are so nice. While Alberto is out of work he is working on his GED. They have made a commitment to the USA. They want to live here permanently and once told me to tell them everything about the culture, language, etc that would help them.

Last night Alberto came by my class without Rocio which I knew meant she is still working nights. He had a Christmas gift for me. The instructions were to put it under the tree until Christmas and to give everyone in my family a hug from them. I am truly blessed to not only have a job that I love, but to have the opportunity to meet such wonderful people.

People In My Life: My Sister Stacey

Growing up in a family with six children allows for many adventures and many kinds of relationships. With each of my siblings I have a unique relationship that I am thankful for each and every day. This morning I finished talking on the phone with my sister Stacey who lives 700 miles away. We try to catch up on each other's lives once a week and our phone calls generally last several hours.

When I talk to Stacey on the phone or in person, I can let my guard down. She knows my strengths and weaknesses which makes it so much easier to share my fears and frustrations. She is also my cheerleader. If she knows I am experiencing a big flare-up she will call to check on me. In the two weeks that I have been on this diet, she has called during the week to see how I am doing. It feels great to know someone is thinking about the challenges you are going through. She goes one step further though in cheering me on. In order to learn more about the diet I am on, she bought the book and is reading it. This may not seem like a big deal but it is huge to me. What better message can she send than to learn about the things I am doing so she can encourage me more. She may decide this diet is a good match for her too or she may not. Either way is fine because I know that she will support my decisions and continuously encourage me.

When I talk with Stacey we discuss so many things: our spirituality, our beliefs in religion, family, friends, spouses, children, health, etc, etc. The list goes on. With her I feel a sense of freedom to discuss topics I may not generally participate in like politics and this morning immigration. We often see things the same way but find that we each can bring new knowledge to the other one.

Stacey brings many good things to my life. She is a constant reminder that full time workers and full time mothers can incorporate healthy diets and exercise into their lives. There is always time when you make it. She reminds me to always ask more questions. For the last three years she has fought doctors who claimed her son would "grow out" of his tics and seizures and gone on to find alternative routes for him. Stacey is strong. She has shown me that even though a mother may need to work, she can still practice attachment parenting. If ever there was a woman succeeding at being Super Mom, it is my sister Stacey.

People In My Life: Suzanne from Cameroon

Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been. - Mark Twain

I find other people's lives interesting. Maybe that is why I enjoy my job so much. Every eight weeks I get to meet 20-30 (well, double that now that I am teaching two classes) new people with lives very different than my own. Although I am their "teacher", I learn so much from each of them.

This quad Suzanne, a 65 year old woman, is in my "high beginning" class. Suzanne is her American name. She is from Cameroon and speaks French as well as many African languages. She was married when she was 16 years old, had nine children, lost two of them, and was widowed when she was only 40 years old. She has lived in the United States for the last six years with her son and his family.

Each evening that I enter my classroom, I find Suzanne has already arrived and is studying. She greets me with the most beautiful smile and when she shares an answer or a story in class her eyes light up. She reminds me of a teenager the way she giggles when she talks. She seems to love life. I feel like she is a magnet that pulls me in and makes me want to smile and feel good about life too. I have noticed that it isn't just me that has noticed these traits about Suzanne. Although she is a grandmother, she always has young men choosing to sit next to her. I think they see the same beauty in her that I do.

Besides her beautiful personality, her contagious smile, and her magically lit up eyes, Suzanne has skin that intrigues me. Her dark black skin is covered with various scars and several years of wrinkles. Sometimes I find myself wanting to reach out and touch her skin. I get this sense that by touching the scars and wrinkles I will gain access to all of her knowledge and stories. I find myself wanting to leave our classroom and go sit with a cup of tea for hours listening to story after story of her life.

I am lucky. I feel like I continuously have people entering my life that give me new things to think about and new things to admire. I know that Suzanne's smile, giggles, eyes and skin will always remain a sunny place in my mind. I thank her for that.